1
00:01:49,057 --> 00:01:51,525
Do you consider the book
to be autobiographical ?
2
00:01:53,103 --> 00:01:55,060
Well, I mean...
3
00:01:55,314 --> 00:01:58,033
... isn't everything autobiographical ?
4
00:01:58,317 --> 00:02:02,594
I mean, we all see the world
through our own tiny keyhole, right ?
5
00:02:02,988 --> 00:02:04,819
I mean, I always think
of Thomas Wolfe.
6
00:02:05,115 --> 00:02:08,233
Have you ever seen that little
one-page "Note to Reader"...
7
00:02:08,536 --> 00:02:10,572
... in the front
of Look Homeward, Angel ?
8
00:02:11,454 --> 00:02:16,164
Anyway, he says that we are the sum
of all the moments of our lives...
9
00:02:16,542 --> 00:02:20,172
... and anybody who sits down to write
will use the clay of their own life...
10
00:02:20,505 --> 00:02:21,984
... that you can't avoid that.
11
00:02:22,215 --> 00:02:26,924
So when I look at my own life,
I have to admit, right, that I...
12
00:02:27,428 --> 00:02:31,741
I've never been around a bunch of guns
or violence, you know, not really.
13
00:02:32,142 --> 00:02:35,896
No political intrigue
or a helicopter crash, right ?
14
00:02:36,688 --> 00:02:40,602
But my life, from my own point of view,
has been full of drama, right ?
15
00:02:41,402 --> 00:02:43,757
And so I thought,
if I could write a book...
16
00:02:44,071 --> 00:02:48,302
... that could capture what it's like
to really meet somebody...
17
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:51,261
One of the most exciting things
that's happened to me...
18
00:02:51,537 --> 00:02:53,732
... is to meet somebody,
make that connection.
19
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,917
And if I could make that valuable,
you know, to capture that...
20
00:02:58,751 --> 00:03:01,903
... that would be the attempt, or...
21
00:03:02,589 --> 00:03:04,978
Did I answer your question ?
22
00:03:05,675 --> 00:03:07,983
I'll try to be more specific.
23
00:03:08,552 --> 00:03:11,146
Was there ever a French young woman
on a train you met...
24
00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:13,661
... and spent an evening with ?
25
00:03:17,646 --> 00:03:20,444
See, to me, that... I mean...
26
00:03:20,732 --> 00:03:24,042
... that's not important, you know ?
- So that's a yes ?
27
00:03:25,112 --> 00:03:28,946
All right, since I'm in France and this
is the last stop of my book tour, yes.
28
00:03:29,908 --> 00:03:31,660
Thank you.
29
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:35,186
Mr. Wallace, the book ends
on an ambiguous note.
30
00:03:35,498 --> 00:03:36,772
We don't know.
31
00:03:37,041 --> 00:03:39,509
Do you think they get back together
in six months...
32
00:03:39,877 --> 00:03:43,106
... like they promise each other ?
33
00:03:43,879 --> 00:03:45,710
Like they promised ?
34
00:03:47,384 --> 00:03:49,978
I think how you answer that,
you know, is...
35
00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:54,079
It's a good test, right,
if you're a romantic or a cynic.
36
00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:58,266
Right ? I mean, you think
they get back together, right ?
37
00:03:58,603 --> 00:04:00,082
- You don't, for sure.
- No.
38
00:04:00,313 --> 00:04:02,224
And you hope they do,
but you're not sure.
39
00:04:02,524 --> 00:04:06,039
- That's why you're asking the question.
- Do you think they get back together ?
40
00:04:06,403 --> 00:04:08,439
I mean, did you in real life ?
41
00:04:09,991 --> 00:04:11,743
Did I in real... ?
42
00:04:12,201 --> 00:04:14,668
Look, in the words
of my grandfather, okay:
43
00:04:14,953 --> 00:04:17,945
"To answer that would take
the piss out of the whole thing. "
44
00:04:18,957 --> 00:04:22,314
We just have the time
for one last question.
45
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,308
What is your next book ?
46
00:04:26,964 --> 00:04:29,353
I don't know, man. I don't know.
47
00:04:29,717 --> 00:04:33,028
I've been...
I've been thinking about this...
48
00:04:33,346 --> 00:04:35,940
Well, I always kind of wanted
to write a book...
49
00:04:36,224 --> 00:04:39,738
... that all took place
within the space of a pop song.
50
00:04:40,102 --> 00:04:43,095
Like three or four minutes long,
the whole thing.
51
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,796
The story, the idea,
is that there's this guy, right...
52
00:04:47,152 --> 00:04:49,746
... and he's totally depressed.
53
00:04:50,071 --> 00:04:54,065
His great dream was to be a lover,
an adventurer, you know...
54
00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:57,049
... riding motorcycles
through South America.
55
00:04:57,371 --> 00:05:00,009
And instead he's sitting
at a marble table eating lobster.
56
00:05:00,290 --> 00:05:03,248
He's got a good job and
a beautiful wife, right, but that...
57
00:05:03,543 --> 00:05:06,775
Everything that he needs.
But that doesn't matter...
58
00:05:07,131 --> 00:05:09,964
... because what he wants
is to fight for meaning.
59
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,491
You know ? Happiness
is in the doing, right ?
60
00:05:12,802 --> 00:05:14,997
Not in the getting what you want.
61
00:05:15,304 --> 00:05:18,661
So he's sitting there,
and just that second...
62
00:05:18,975 --> 00:05:23,047
... his little 5-year-old daughter
hops up on the table.
63
00:05:23,395 --> 00:05:26,546
And he knows that she should
get down, because she could get hurt.
64
00:05:26,899 --> 00:05:31,416
But she's dancing to this pop song
in a summer dress.
65
00:05:32,239 --> 00:05:34,150
And he looks down...
66
00:05:34,449 --> 00:05:36,838
... and all of a sudden, he's 16.
67
00:05:37,786 --> 00:05:43,020
And his high-school sweetheart
is dropping him off at home.
68
00:05:43,417 --> 00:05:46,852
And they just lost their virginity,
and she loves him...
69
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:50,959
... and the same song is playing
on the car radio.
70
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:54,217
And she climbs up and starts dancing
on the roof of the car.
71
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,031
And now he's worried about her.
72
00:05:56,262 --> 00:06:00,380
And she's beautiful, with a facial
expression just like his daughter's.
73
00:06:00,892 --> 00:06:02,962
In fact, maybe that's why
he even likes her.
74
00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:06,068
You see, he knows he's not
remembering this dance...
75
00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:09,946
... he's there. He's there,
in both moments, simultaneously.
76
00:06:10,317 --> 00:06:13,594
And just for an instant,
all his life is just folding in on itself.
77
00:06:13,947 --> 00:06:16,541
And it's obvious to him
that time is a lie.
78
00:06:18,952 --> 00:06:21,307
That it's all happening all the time...
79
00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:25,017
... and inside every moment
is another moment...
80
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,170
... all happening simultaneously.
81
00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:30,419
Anyway, that's kind of the idea.
Anyway.
82
00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:34,157
Our author has to be going
to the airport soon...
83
00:06:34,468 --> 00:06:37,267
... so thank you all very much
for coming over this afternoon.
84
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:40,712
And a special thanks to Mr. Wallace
for being with us.
85
00:06:41,056 --> 00:06:42,409
Thank you. Thank you.
86
00:06:42,641 --> 00:06:45,235
We hope to see you here again
with your next book.
87
00:06:51,942 --> 00:06:55,173
Thank you all. How much longer
before I have to go to the airport ?
88
00:06:55,488 --> 00:06:57,047
Oh, you should leave at 7:30...
89
00:06:57,365 --> 00:06:59,799
- Seven-thirty at the very latest.
- Okay.
90
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:07,987
- Hi.
- Hello.
91
00:07:10,755 --> 00:07:13,349
- How are you ?
- Good, and you ?
92
00:07:15,258 --> 00:07:17,931
I'm good, yeah, I'm great. I'm...
93
00:07:18,845 --> 00:07:21,076
Do you wanna, maybe,
get a cup of coffee ?
94
00:07:21,933 --> 00:07:24,288
Didn't he just say
you have a plane to catch ?
95
00:07:25,434 --> 00:07:28,232
Yeah. But, I mean, I have a little time.
96
00:07:28,729 --> 00:07:31,881
- Okay.
- Yeah ? All right, well, let me...
97
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,225
I'll meet you outside. Okay.
98
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:38,345
Excuse me. I'm just gonna go
get a cup of coffee.
99
00:07:38,656 --> 00:07:40,806
- I'll be back at 7:15.
- Did you sign all these ?
100
00:07:41,075 --> 00:07:43,590
- Yeah, I sure did.
- Get your driver Philippe's card...
101
00:07:43,912 --> 00:07:46,301
... so you can call his cell
if you're running late.
102
00:07:46,623 --> 00:07:49,091
We'll put your bags in the car
so you're not late.
103
00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:51,851
- All right, thanks for everything.
- Thank you.
104
00:07:54,298 --> 00:07:56,175
Which one's Philippe ?
105
00:08:14,191 --> 00:08:17,389
- I can't believe you're here.
- I live here in Paris.
106
00:08:18,947 --> 00:08:22,143
Are you sure you don't have to stay ?
You're not supposed to talk more ?
107
00:08:22,491 --> 00:08:24,447
They're sick of me.
I spent the night here.
108
00:08:24,743 --> 00:08:27,941
- You did ?
- Yeah, they got a loft upstairs.
109
00:08:28,457 --> 00:08:30,732
- How are you ? This is so weird.
- I'm fine.
110
00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:34,591
- It's good to see you.
- It's good to see you.
111
00:08:37,132 --> 00:08:39,442
- So you want to go to a café ?
- Yeah.
112
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,035
Okay. There's one a little further
that I like.
113
00:08:42,305 --> 00:08:46,013
I thought I was gonna totally lose it
in there when I first saw you.
114
00:08:46,391 --> 00:08:48,063
How did you know
I was gonna be here ?
115
00:08:48,351 --> 00:08:52,550
It's my favorite bookstore in Paris.
You can sit down for hours and read.
116
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,808
I love it. There's fleas,
but, you know...
117
00:08:55,065 --> 00:08:57,340
I know. I think a cat slept
on my head last night.
118
00:08:57,610 --> 00:09:00,125
I saw your picture on the calendar
about a month ago...
119
00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:02,202
... and that you were going
to be here.
120
00:09:02,699 --> 00:09:05,497
It's funny, because I read an article
on your book...
121
00:09:05,785 --> 00:09:09,619
... and it sounded vaguely familiar.
- Vaguely ? Yeah.
122
00:09:10,164 --> 00:09:13,840
But I didn't put it all together
until I saw your photo. So...
123
00:09:14,169 --> 00:09:16,239
Did you have a chance to read it ?
124
00:09:16,546 --> 00:09:17,899
Yes, I...
125
00:09:18,131 --> 00:09:20,486
I was really, really surprised,
as you can imagine.
126
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:23,316
I mean, I had to read it twice, actually.
127
00:09:23,638 --> 00:09:25,594
- Yeah ?
- Yeah.
128
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:29,612
No, I liked it. It's very romantic.
129
00:09:29,893 --> 00:09:32,453
I usually don't like that,
but it's really well-written.
130
00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:35,650
- It's well-written. Congratulations.
- All right. Thank you.
131
00:09:36,192 --> 00:09:37,989
- Wait.
- What ?
132
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:42,063
Before we go anywhere,
I have to ask you...
133
00:09:42,655 --> 00:09:44,168
Sure. What ?
134
00:09:44,406 --> 00:09:47,285
Did you show up in Vienna
that December ?
135
00:09:49,246 --> 00:09:53,443
- Did you ?
- No, I couldn't. But did you ?
136
00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:57,023
- I need to know. It's important to me.
- Why, if you didn't ?
137
00:09:57,546 --> 00:09:59,457
Well, did you ?
138
00:09:59,714 --> 00:10:01,147
No.
139
00:10:02,843 --> 00:10:04,276
Thank God you didn't.
140
00:10:04,553 --> 00:10:06,271
- Oh, my God.
- Thank God you didn't.
141
00:10:06,555 --> 00:10:09,912
Thank God I didn't and you didn't.
If one of us had showed up alone...
142
00:10:10,226 --> 00:10:12,535
... that would have sucked.
- I was so concerned.
143
00:10:12,811 --> 00:10:16,520
I felt horrible about not being there,
but I couldn't. My grandma died...
144
00:10:16,898 --> 00:10:19,049
... and she was buried that day,
December 16th.
145
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,828
- The one in Budapest ?
- Yes. You remember that ?
146
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,826
- I remember everything.
- Of course, it was in your book.
147
00:10:25,114 --> 00:10:28,265
But anyway, I was about to
fly to Vienna, you know...
148
00:10:28,617 --> 00:10:32,497
... and we heard the news about her,
and of course I had to go to the funeral.
149
00:10:32,831 --> 00:10:34,503
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.
150
00:10:34,749 --> 00:10:38,343
I know. But you weren't there anyway.
151
00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:41,101
Wait. Why weren't you there ?
152
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:44,620
I would have been there
if I could have. I made plans...
153
00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:47,084
You better have a good reason.
154
00:10:47,387 --> 00:10:48,661
What ?
155
00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:52,207
Oh, no.
156
00:10:52,935 --> 00:10:54,891
No, you were there, weren't you ?
157
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,747
Oh, no, that's terrible !
158
00:10:58,064 --> 00:10:59,702
I'm laughing, but I don't mean it.
159
00:10:59,941 --> 00:11:01,738
Did you hate me ?
You must've hated me.
160
00:11:01,985 --> 00:11:04,136
- Have you been hating me all this time ?
- No.
161
00:11:04,405 --> 00:11:05,679
- Yes, you have.
- No.
162
00:11:05,948 --> 00:11:07,700
But you can't hate me now, right ?
163
00:11:07,992 --> 00:11:10,982
- I mean, my grandma...
- I don't hate you. It's no big deal.
164
00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:13,761
I flew all the way over there,
you blew the thing off.
165
00:11:14,079 --> 00:11:17,038
My life's been a big nosedive since,
but it's not a problem.
166
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:20,093
- No, I'm kidding.
- Don't say that. I can't believe it.
167
00:11:20,419 --> 00:11:22,774
You must have been so angry
with me. I'm so sorry.
168
00:11:23,047 --> 00:11:25,482
I wanted to be there,
more than anything in the world.
169
00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:28,398
- Honestly, I swear...
- You can't be angry, my grandmother...
170
00:11:28,678 --> 00:11:32,193
I know. I honestly thought that something
like that might have happened.
171
00:11:32,516 --> 00:11:34,507
I was definitely bummed, but...
172
00:11:34,768 --> 00:11:38,318
Mostly I was mad we hadn't exchanged
any phone numbers or any information.
173
00:11:38,648 --> 00:11:40,559
That was so stupid.
No way to get in touch.
174
00:11:40,817 --> 00:11:43,046
- Nothing to go on.
- I didn't know your last name.
175
00:11:43,318 --> 00:11:46,390
Remember, we were both afraid
if we started writing and calling...
176
00:11:46,696 --> 00:11:50,087
... that it would slowly fade out.
- It definitely wasn't a slow fade.
177
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:51,603
No, it sure wasn't.
178
00:11:51,828 --> 00:11:53,578
We wanted to pick up
where we left off.
179
00:11:53,828 --> 00:11:57,059
Which would have been fine
if it had worked. Oh, well.
180
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,021
So...
181
00:12:00,669 --> 00:12:03,741
- How long were you in Vienna, then ?
- Just a couple days.
182
00:12:05,422 --> 00:12:07,492
Did you meet another girl ?
183
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,269
Yeah, her name was Gretchen
and she was amazing.
184
00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:13,189
The book's really a composite
of the two of you.
185
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:17,144
No, I'm kidding. You wouldn't believe...
I even went back to the train station.
186
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:21,432
I put up signs of my number
in the hotel in case you'd been delayed.
187
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,288
- I was a total dork.
- Let's go this way. Did you get any calls ?
188
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:27,734
Just a couple hookers
looking for a gig.
189
00:12:28,071 --> 00:12:30,505
No, it was awful, I mean,
what do you want me to say ?
190
00:12:30,782 --> 00:12:32,135
It's so sad. I'm so sorry.
191
00:12:32,409 --> 00:12:35,368
I walked around for a couple days.
Eventually, I flew home.
192
00:12:35,705 --> 00:12:37,855
I owed my dad 2000 bucks...
193
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:40,075
... who had warned me
about French chicks.
194
00:12:40,374 --> 00:12:42,171
What did he tell you
about French women ?
195
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:44,452
Nothing. He's never met
any French women.
196
00:12:44,754 --> 00:12:46,904
He's never been
east of the Mississippi.
197
00:12:47,174 --> 00:12:51,246
Why didn't you put, "Six months later,
the French bitch didn't show up" ?
198
00:12:51,594 --> 00:12:53,107
No, but I did, I did.
199
00:12:53,387 --> 00:12:56,186
- You did ?
- Yeah. No. I made it more hopeful.
200
00:12:56,516 --> 00:12:58,950
I wrote this fictional version
where you do show up.
201
00:12:59,269 --> 00:13:01,624
- Oh, what happens ?
- Well...
202
00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:04,581
What ?
203
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:07,945
We make love for about 0 days straight,
that's one part of it.
204
00:13:08,237 --> 00:13:10,910
- Interesting. So the French slut, right ?
- Yeah, exactly.
205
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,628
It's just then they get
to know each other better...
206
00:13:13,909 --> 00:13:15,820
... and realize they don't
get along at all.
207
00:13:16,119 --> 00:13:19,271
- I like that. It's more real.
- My editor didn't think that way.
208
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:21,618
Everyone wants to believe in love.
It sells.
209
00:13:21,876 --> 00:13:23,785
Yeah, exactly, so...
210
00:13:24,585 --> 00:13:27,053
So things are going well for you,
right ? I mean...
211
00:13:27,379 --> 00:13:30,452
- Your book is a bestseller in the U. S.
- It's a tiny bestseller.
212
00:13:30,801 --> 00:13:32,712
- Oh, come on.
- All right. Officially, yes.
213
00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:36,002
Most people haven't read Moby Dick.
Why should they read my book ?
214
00:13:36,305 --> 00:13:38,455
I haven't read Moby Dick
and I liked your book.
215
00:13:38,724 --> 00:13:40,920
- Thanks.
- Even though...
216
00:13:41,228 --> 00:13:43,867
... I thought you idealized
the night of it.
217
00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:45,827
Come on, it's fiction, right ?
218
00:13:46,066 --> 00:13:47,658
- I'm supposed to...
- I know, I know.
219
00:13:47,943 --> 00:13:51,016
I know. I thought there were times
where you made me...
220
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:55,562
Well, I mean, her, right ?
No, me. Okay, whatever.
221
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:58,867
- A little bit neurotic.
- You are a bit like that, aren't you ?
222
00:13:59,204 --> 00:14:02,322
- You think I'm neurotic ?
- No, no, no. Come on, I'm kidding.
223
00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:04,422
Where did I do that ? I didn't do that.
224
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:07,263
Oh, maybe it's just me, you know...
225
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,457
Reading something, knowing
the character is based on you...
226
00:14:10,798 --> 00:14:13,358
... it's both flattering and disturbing
at the same time.
227
00:14:13,677 --> 00:14:15,110
How is it disturbing ?
228
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:19,425
I don't know. Just being part
of someone else's memory.
229
00:14:19,765 --> 00:14:22,279
Seeing myself through your eyes.
230
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,870
How long did it take you to write it ?
231
00:14:25,939 --> 00:14:27,657
Three or four years, on and off.
232
00:14:27,941 --> 00:14:30,978
Wow, that's a really long time
to be writing about one night.
233
00:14:31,319 --> 00:14:33,879
Yeah, I know. Tell me about it.
234
00:14:34,281 --> 00:14:36,637
I always assumed
you had forgotten me.
235
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,799
No, I had a pretty clear picture
of you in my mind.
236
00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:42,429
- I have to tell you something. I just...
- What ?
237
00:14:42,706 --> 00:14:46,335
I've wanted to talk to you for so long
that now... It's just surreal, you know ?
238
00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:48,383
I feel like everything should be...
239
00:14:48,629 --> 00:14:50,938
How long do we have ?
Twenty minutes and 30 seconds ?
240
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,450
We got more than that.
I wanna know about you.
241
00:14:53,757 --> 00:14:56,271
Tell me, what are you doing ?
What are you up to ?
242
00:14:56,594 --> 00:15:01,032
Where to start ? I work for Green Cross.
It's an environmental organization.
243
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:02,707
What are they all about ?
244
00:15:02,976 --> 00:15:05,443
We basically work on different
environment issues...
245
00:15:05,728 --> 00:15:08,242
... from clean water to
disarmament of chemical weapons.
246
00:15:08,522 --> 00:15:10,878
International laws that deal
with the environment.
247
00:15:11,151 --> 00:15:13,426
- What do you do for them ?
- We're going this way.
248
00:15:13,945 --> 00:15:15,219
Different things.
249
00:15:15,489 --> 00:15:19,198
Like, last year I was in India for a while,
working on a water-treatment plant.
250
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,358
Well, the cotton industry there
is a major source of pollution, so...
251
00:15:23,664 --> 00:15:26,461
I mean, it sounds like you're actually
doing something.
252
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:30,102
Most people, myself included,
just sit around and bitch.
253
00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:34,892
You know, how America's consuming
all the world's resources, SUVs suck...
254
00:15:35,259 --> 00:15:36,578
... global warming is real...
255
00:15:36,844 --> 00:15:40,073
I'm relieved to hear you're not one
of those "freedom fries" Americans.
256
00:15:40,387 --> 00:15:42,696
Hey, you know...
But how'd you get into that ?
257
00:15:42,974 --> 00:15:46,125
I came out of political science,
hoping to work for the government.
258
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:49,071
- And I did for a little while. Terrible.
- Not good ?
259
00:15:49,396 --> 00:15:52,866
Yeah, no. Anyway, I got really tired...
Let's go this way.
260
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,430
Having this endless conversation
with friends...
261
00:15:55,695 --> 00:15:57,845
... about how the world
was falling to pieces.
262
00:15:58,156 --> 00:16:00,465
So I decided what I really
wanted to do was...
263
00:16:00,784 --> 00:16:03,981
... to find things that could be fixed
and try to fix them, you know ?
264
00:16:04,329 --> 00:16:07,925
You know, I always thought you'd be
doing something cool like that. I did.
265
00:16:08,292 --> 00:16:13,001
Thanks. I just feel really, really lucky
to be doing a job I like, you know ?
266
00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:14,820
Yeah.
267
00:16:15,048 --> 00:16:19,600
I actually alternate in between thinking
everything is irrevocably screwed up...
268
00:16:19,971 --> 00:16:22,164
... and things might be
getting better in ways.
269
00:16:22,471 --> 00:16:24,780
Better ? How could you
possibly say that ?
270
00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:26,775
Well, I just mean, you know, like...
271
00:16:27,017 --> 00:16:30,533
I know it sounds weird, but there are
things to be optimistic about.
272
00:16:30,897 --> 00:16:35,412
Okay... I know your book is selling,
which is great, I'm very happy for you.
273
00:16:35,818 --> 00:16:38,936
But let me break the news to you:
The world is a mess right now.
274
00:16:39,281 --> 00:16:41,670
From a Western view,
things are getting a bit better.
275
00:16:41,992 --> 00:16:45,428
We're moving industry to developing
nations where we can get cheap labor...
276
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:48,904
... free of any environmental laws.
The weapon industry is booming.
277
00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:52,041
Five million people die a year
from preventable water disease.
278
00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:55,256
How is the world getting better ?
I'm not angry, I'm not angry.
279
00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:57,580
But come on, I want to know.
I'm interested.
280
00:16:57,883 --> 00:17:01,239
I realize that there are a lot
of serious problems in the world.
281
00:17:01,596 --> 00:17:03,746
- Okay. Thank you.
- I mean, I don't even have...
282
00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:07,285
... one publisher in the Asian market.
- Okay. All right.
283
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:10,933
- Say stop.
- What ? Stop.
284
00:17:11,228 --> 00:17:14,983
Look, all I'm saying is there's more
awareness. People are gonna fight back.
285
00:17:15,317 --> 00:17:18,194
The world might be getting better
because people like you...
286
00:17:18,486 --> 00:17:20,044
... are educated and speaking out.
287
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:23,769
Even the very notion of conservation,
environmental issues...
288
00:17:24,117 --> 00:17:26,392
... weren't in the vocabulary
till fairly recently.
289
00:17:26,661 --> 00:17:30,574
And they're becoming the norm and
eventually might be what's expected.
290
00:17:30,957 --> 00:17:33,790
I agree with what you're saying,
but at the same time it's dangerous.
291
00:17:34,127 --> 00:17:36,642
An imperialist country can use
that kind of thinking...
292
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,993
... to justify their economic greed.
293
00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:44,429
Is there any particular imperialist country
you have in mind, there, Frenchie ?
294
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:46,880
- No, not really.
- No ?
295
00:17:52,394 --> 00:17:55,750
- So you wanna sit over there ?
- Yeah, this is perfect.
296
00:17:56,273 --> 00:17:58,913
Oh, wow. Maybe what I'm saying is...
297
00:17:59,236 --> 00:18:02,034
... the world might be evolving
the way a person evolves.
298
00:18:02,322 --> 00:18:05,233
Like, I mean, me, for example.
Am I getting worse ?
299
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:09,573
Am I improving ? I don't know.
When I was younger, I was healthier...
300
00:18:09,913 --> 00:18:12,302
... but I was wracked with insecurity,
you know ?
301
00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:15,032
Now I'm older and my problems
are deeper...
302
00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:17,090
... but I'm more equipped
to handle them.
303
00:18:17,921 --> 00:18:19,992
So, what are your problems ?
304
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:25,945
Right now I don't have any.
I don't, you know ? I'm just...
305
00:18:26,304 --> 00:18:27,976
... damn happy to be here.
306
00:18:28,473 --> 00:18:29,986
Me too.
307
00:18:33,062 --> 00:18:35,212
So how long have you been in Paris ?
308
00:18:35,523 --> 00:18:38,797
I got in last night.
I've done 10 cities in 12 days.
309
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,380
I'm wrecked. I'm so glad it's over,
you know ?
310
00:18:41,694 --> 00:18:43,094
I'm tired of being a huckster.
311
00:18:43,738 --> 00:18:45,171
- Hi.
- Hello.
312
00:18:45,449 --> 00:18:46,882
What do you want ?
313
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,035
A cup of coffee.
314
00:18:52,872 --> 00:18:56,468
God, I love this café. I wish they had
places like this in the U. S.
315
00:18:57,043 --> 00:18:59,432
Yeah, I missed cafés
when I was living over there.
316
00:18:59,754 --> 00:19:02,507
I mean, I find a few places
I really liked, but there was...
317
00:19:02,841 --> 00:19:06,676
- You were living in the U. S. ?
- Yes, from '96 to '99.
318
00:19:07,054 --> 00:19:08,567
I was studying at NYU.
319
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,528
Oh, God, don't tell me that, Céline.
320
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,806
- What ?
- No, it's just...
321
00:19:14,102 --> 00:19:15,741
- Nothing, I mean, I...
- What ?
322
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:19,211
I've been living in New York since '98.
We were there at the same time.
323
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,038
- In New York ?
- Yeah.
324
00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:25,791
That's weird. It actually crossed my mind
a few times that I might run into you...
325
00:19:26,155 --> 00:19:28,386
... but the odds are so slim, right ? So...
326
00:19:29,075 --> 00:19:30,906
I didn't even know
what city you were in.
327
00:19:31,161 --> 00:19:34,516
- Weren't you somewhere in Texas ?
- Yeah, yeah, definitely. I just...
328
00:19:34,872 --> 00:19:38,229
I was for a long time. I just,
you know, wanted to try New York.
329
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:42,012
What brought you back here ?
330
00:19:42,297 --> 00:19:44,208
I had finished my master's, for one...
331
00:19:44,508 --> 00:19:46,624
... and no visa, no more visa.
332
00:19:46,927 --> 00:19:51,126
And I was starting to get paranoid.
All the violence in the medias:
333
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:54,591
Gang violence, murders,
especially serial killers...
334
00:19:56,353 --> 00:19:57,945
But the final straw was...
335
00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:00,984
... one night I heard some noise
on my fire escape...
336
00:20:01,317 --> 00:20:03,751
... so I called 911,
and the cops came eventually.
337
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:07,424
- Like three hours later.
- Yeah, after I had been raped and killed.
338
00:20:08,197 --> 00:20:10,586
No, but it was a man
and a woman officer.
339
00:20:10,908 --> 00:20:12,820
I was explaining what I had heard...
340
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,315
... when the woman had
to go move the police car.
341
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,217
I was left alone with the male cop.
342
00:20:17,456 --> 00:20:21,734
Right away he asked me if I had a gun,
and I said, "No, of course not. "
343
00:20:22,128 --> 00:20:24,882
And he told me, "Well, you better
think about getting one.
344
00:20:25,215 --> 00:20:28,412
This is America, not France. Okay ?"
345
00:20:28,718 --> 00:20:31,710
And I said to him, "I have no idea
how to shoot a gun...
346
00:20:32,055 --> 00:20:34,445
... and I have no interest
in firearms whatsoever. "
347
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:38,396
And that's when he pulled out his gun,
like this, and he went:
348
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:44,003
"Well, one day, you're gonna have
something like this in your face...
349
00:20:44,484 --> 00:20:46,715
... and if you wanna have a long life...
350
00:20:47,405 --> 00:20:51,032
... you're gonna have to choose
between you or them. "
351
00:20:52,283 --> 00:20:56,482
And then they left. And the next morning
I called for an application to get a gun.
352
00:20:56,872 --> 00:20:59,261
Me with a gun.
I mean, that's really scary.
353
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:01,619
But then I realized
something was wrong.
354
00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:05,307
The way that cop had pulled his gun out,
and everything, right ?
355
00:21:05,671 --> 00:21:07,423
So I canceled my demand
for the gun...
356
00:21:07,674 --> 00:21:10,666
... and I called the police and tried
to complain about that cop.
357
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:13,437
- What happened with that ?
- It was so much paperwork...
358
00:21:13,722 --> 00:21:16,441
... and then I got scared,
with my shitty student visa...
359
00:21:16,725 --> 00:21:19,035
- Thought you'd get deported ?
- Exactly. I gave up...
360
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:21,030
... and forgot about the whole thing.
361
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:24,749
- Well, I guess I never forgot.
- Obviously.
362
00:21:25,108 --> 00:21:27,542
But still, you know,
I really enjoyed being there.
363
00:21:27,861 --> 00:21:30,854
- There's lots of things I miss in the U. S.
- Yeah ? Like what ?
364
00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:34,463
Well...
365
00:21:34,744 --> 00:21:37,131
The overall good mood
people have there.
366
00:21:37,453 --> 00:21:39,444
Like, even if it can be
bullshit sometimes.
367
00:21:39,705 --> 00:21:42,379
Like, "How you doing ?" "Great. "
"How you doing ?" "Great !"
368
00:21:42,918 --> 00:21:44,954
"Have a great day !"
369
00:21:45,462 --> 00:21:48,931
I don't know. Parisians can be
so grumpy. Have you noticed ?
370
00:21:49,298 --> 00:21:51,812
No, everybody seems
pretty happy to me.
371
00:21:52,636 --> 00:21:55,434
- They're not happy. No.
- They're not happy ?
372
00:21:55,722 --> 00:21:58,953
No, they are. I don't know. I just
mean French men. They drive me nuts.
373
00:21:59,309 --> 00:22:00,628
What is it ? What about them ?
374
00:22:01,019 --> 00:22:03,898
Well, they're very nice.
They're great, you know, to be around.
375
00:22:04,232 --> 00:22:06,143
They love food, wine,
they're great cooks.
376
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,311
But I've had really bad luck with them.
377
00:22:08,569 --> 00:22:10,126
Why ? What do you mean ?
378
00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:13,907
- Well, I guess they're not as...
- What ?
379
00:22:14,241 --> 00:22:15,755
What's the word ?
380
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:20,020
- Horny ? They're not as horny.
- Horny ?
381
00:22:20,371 --> 00:22:24,489
Wait, listen to me on this one. In that
regard, I am proud to be an American.
382
00:22:24,834 --> 00:22:26,666
And you should be.
In that regard only.
383
00:22:27,921 --> 00:22:29,832
Have you ever spent time
in Eastern Europe ?
384
00:22:30,382 --> 00:22:32,770
Eastern... No, I don't.
Thank you.
385
00:22:33,926 --> 00:22:36,394
I remember as a teenager
I went to Warsaw...
386
00:22:36,679 --> 00:22:39,114
... when it was still
a strict communist regime.
387
00:22:39,432 --> 00:22:41,707
- Which I don't approve of at all.
- Sure you don't.
388
00:22:42,018 --> 00:22:43,929
- No, I don't.
- I'm just kidding.
389
00:22:44,187 --> 00:22:46,985
But anyway, something about
being there was very interesting.
390
00:22:47,274 --> 00:22:50,392
After a couple of weeks,
something changed in me.
391
00:22:50,695 --> 00:22:53,732
The city was quite gloomy and gray...
392
00:22:54,030 --> 00:22:56,669
... but after a while,
my brain seemed clearer.
393
00:22:56,950 --> 00:22:58,542
I was writing more
in my journal...
394
00:22:58,827 --> 00:23:01,865
... ideas I'd never thought of before...
- Communist ideas ?
395
00:23:02,206 --> 00:23:04,276
- Listen, I'm not...
- I'm sorry, I...
396
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:06,254
- Okay.
- Go on.
397
00:23:06,542 --> 00:23:09,010
Okay. I'll send you to a gulag later.
398
00:23:09,295 --> 00:23:12,606
No. But it took me a while to figure out
why I felt so different.
399
00:23:12,924 --> 00:23:15,484
One day, as I was walking
through the Jewish cemetery...
400
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,590
... I don't know why,
but it occurred to me there...
401
00:23:17,845 --> 00:23:21,554
... I realized that I had spent the last
two weeks away from most of my habits.
402
00:23:21,892 --> 00:23:23,803
TV was in a language
I didn't understand...
403
00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:26,699
... there was nothing to buy,
no advertisements anywhere...
404
00:23:26,980 --> 00:23:28,538
... so all I'd been doing was...
405
00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:33,326
... walk around, think, and write.
My brain felt like it was at rest...
406
00:23:33,738 --> 00:23:37,174
... free from the consuming frenzy.
It was almost like a natural high.
407
00:23:37,533 --> 00:23:41,889
I felt so peaceful inside.
No strange urge to be somewhere else...
408
00:23:42,287 --> 00:23:43,561
... to shop...
409
00:23:43,830 --> 00:23:45,867
It could have seemed
like boredom at first...
410
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:47,843
... but it became very, very soulful.
411
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,397
It was interesting, you know ?
412
00:23:50,628 --> 00:23:53,825
Can you believe it was nine years ago
we were walking around Vienna ?
413
00:23:54,465 --> 00:23:58,015
- Nine years ? No, that's impossible.
- No, it was. It feels like two months.
414
00:23:58,386 --> 00:24:00,217
But it was summer '94.
415
00:24:02,515 --> 00:24:04,710
Do I look any different ?
416
00:24:06,393 --> 00:24:08,032
I do ?
417
00:24:08,897 --> 00:24:10,091
I'd have to see you naked.
418
00:24:10,524 --> 00:24:12,401
- What ?
- I know, I'm sorry.
419
00:24:12,692 --> 00:24:14,967
Your hair was different back then.
It was like...
420
00:24:15,237 --> 00:24:17,546
- It's the same... Oh, down.
- Yeah, take it down.
421
00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,496
Down. Okay, it was down. Okay.
422
00:24:19,784 --> 00:24:21,854
Well ? Voilà.
423
00:24:22,203 --> 00:24:23,635
So ?
424
00:24:25,747 --> 00:24:27,146
Okay, come on. Tell me.
425
00:24:31,212 --> 00:24:33,680
Skinnier, I think. A little thinner.
426
00:24:34,839 --> 00:24:36,318
Did you think I was fat before ?
427
00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:39,388
- No...
- Yeah, you thought I was a fatty.
428
00:24:39,718 --> 00:24:43,598
No, you thought I was a fatty. You
wrote a book about a fat French girl.
429
00:24:43,932 --> 00:24:45,762
- No, listen.
- Oh, no.
430
00:24:46,058 --> 00:24:48,094
Seriously, all right ? You look beautiful.
431
00:24:48,394 --> 00:24:50,305
Do I look any different ?
432
00:24:50,729 --> 00:24:54,120
No. Not at all.
Actually, you have this line.
433
00:24:54,484 --> 00:24:56,793
- I know.
- It's like a scar.
434
00:24:57,112 --> 00:25:01,344
- A scar ? Like a gunshot wound ?
- No, no, no. I like it. I'm sorry.
435
00:25:02,869 --> 00:25:07,465
I had this funny...
Well, horrible dream the other day.
436
00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:12,586
I was having this awful nightmare
that I was 32.
437
00:25:12,919 --> 00:25:15,992
And then I woke up,
and I was 23. So relieved.
438
00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:18,808
And then I woke up for real,
and I was 32.
439
00:25:19,135 --> 00:25:21,488
- Shit, man. It happens.
- Scary.
440
00:25:21,802 --> 00:25:24,362
Time goes faster and faster.
Apparently, it's because...
441
00:25:24,638 --> 00:25:27,949
... we don't renew synapses after
our 20s, so it's downhill from then on.
442
00:25:29,269 --> 00:25:32,146
I like getting older, you know ?
Life feels...
443
00:25:32,563 --> 00:25:35,953
I don't know, it feels more immediate.
Like I can appreciate things more.
444
00:25:36,985 --> 00:25:39,453
No, me too, actually. I really love it.
445
00:25:40,030 --> 00:25:41,748
I was once...
446
00:25:42,032 --> 00:25:43,351
... a drummer in a band.
447
00:25:43,617 --> 00:25:46,085
- You were ?
- Yeah. We were pretty good, actually.
448
00:25:46,411 --> 00:25:50,451
But the lead-singer guy, he was just so
obsessed with us getting a record deal.
449
00:25:50,792 --> 00:25:53,624
It's all we talked about, thought about,
getting bigger shows.
450
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,316
Everything was just focused on
the future all the time. And now...
451
00:25:57,631 --> 00:25:59,429
... the band doesn't even exist anymore.
452
00:25:59,675 --> 00:26:01,950
And looking back
at the shows we did play...
453
00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:05,016
... even rehearsing, it was just
so much fun.
454
00:26:05,304 --> 00:26:09,343
I just... Now I'd enjoy every minute of it.
Could I have a drag of that ?
455
00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:12,680
Well, your book has been published.
That's a pretty big deal.
456
00:26:13,021 --> 00:26:16,137
You've been all around Europe.
Are you enjoying every minute of it ?
457
00:26:16,982 --> 00:26:18,779
- Not really.
- Not really ?
458
00:26:19,068 --> 00:26:20,387
No.
459
00:26:20,987 --> 00:26:23,547
- Do you have another one of those ?
- Yes, of course.
460
00:26:25,742 --> 00:26:27,221
Here.
461
00:26:28,161 --> 00:26:31,153
In my field, I see these people that...
Oh, sorry.
462
00:26:31,498 --> 00:26:33,933
Come into it with big,
idealist visions...
463
00:26:34,210 --> 00:26:36,849
... of becoming the leader
that will create a better world.
464
00:26:37,130 --> 00:26:39,245
They enjoy the goal,
but not the process.
465
00:26:39,548 --> 00:26:41,345
- Right.
- But the reality of it is...
466
00:26:41,591 --> 00:26:44,868
... the true work of improving things
is in the little achievements.
467
00:26:45,221 --> 00:26:48,054
- That's what you need to enjoy.
- What do you mean, exactly ?
468
00:26:48,391 --> 00:26:51,825
I was working for this organization
that helped villages in Mexico.
469
00:26:52,643 --> 00:26:55,033
And their concerns was how
to get the pencils...
470
00:26:55,313 --> 00:26:57,622
... sent to the kid
in those little country schools.
471
00:26:57,899 --> 00:27:01,573
It was not about big,
revolutionary ideas. It was about pencils.
472
00:27:02,111 --> 00:27:05,421
I see the people that do the real work,
and what's really sad is that...
473
00:27:05,949 --> 00:27:08,383
... the people that are
the most giving, hardworking...
474
00:27:08,660 --> 00:27:10,776
... and capable of making
this world better...
475
00:27:11,079 --> 00:27:14,071
... usually don't have the ego
and ambition to be a leader.
476
00:27:14,416 --> 00:27:16,931
They don't see any interest
in superficial rewards.
477
00:27:17,253 --> 00:27:20,165
They don't care if their name
ever appear in the press.
478
00:27:20,506 --> 00:27:23,178
They actually enjoy the process
of helping others.
479
00:27:23,508 --> 00:27:26,102
- They're in the moment.
- Yeah, but that's so hard...
480
00:27:26,386 --> 00:27:29,185
... you know, to be in the moment.
I mean, I feel like I'm...
481
00:27:29,474 --> 00:27:33,308
... designed to be slightly dissatisfied
with everything, you know ?
482
00:27:33,643 --> 00:27:36,031
It's like always trying
to better my situation.
483
00:27:36,353 --> 00:27:39,664
I satisfy one desire,
and it just agitates another.
484
00:27:39,983 --> 00:27:43,373
And then I think, to hell with it, right ?
Desire's the fuel of life.
485
00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:46,413
You know ? Do you think it's true...
486
00:27:46,739 --> 00:27:49,537
... that if we never wanted anything,
we'd never be unhappy ?
487
00:27:49,867 --> 00:27:54,703
I don't know. Not wanting anything,
isn't that a symptom of depression ?
488
00:27:55,081 --> 00:27:58,551
Yeah, that is, right ?
I mean, it's healthy to desire, right ?
489
00:27:58,919 --> 00:28:02,390
Yeah. I don't know. It's what all
those Buddhist guys say, right ?
490
00:28:02,757 --> 00:28:05,032
Liberate yourself from desire,
and you'll find...
491
00:28:05,301 --> 00:28:08,372
... you already have everything you need.
- But I feel alive...
492
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,393
... when I want something more
than basic survival needs.
493
00:28:11,681 --> 00:28:14,401
Wanting, whether it's intimacy
with another person...
494
00:28:14,727 --> 00:28:16,399
... or a pair of shoes, is beautiful.
495
00:28:16,687 --> 00:28:20,075
I like that we have those
ever-renewing desires, you know ?
496
00:28:20,439 --> 00:28:22,077
Maybe it's this sense
of entitlement.
497
00:28:22,358 --> 00:28:25,954
You know, like whenever you feel like
you deserve that new pair of shoes ?
498
00:28:26,321 --> 00:28:30,029
It's okay to want things, as long as you
aren't pissed off if you don't get them.
499
00:28:30,366 --> 00:28:32,163
Life's hard. It's supposed to be.
500
00:28:32,451 --> 00:28:35,330
If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't
learn a thing, you know ?
501
00:28:36,832 --> 00:28:38,663
So, what, are you Buddhist,
or something ?
502
00:28:39,793 --> 00:28:42,353
- No.
- No ? Why not ?
503
00:28:42,879 --> 00:28:47,431
I don't know. The same reason I don't
really consider myself anything, really.
504
00:28:48,010 --> 00:28:51,286
I decided a long time ago that
I was gonna be open to everything...
505
00:28:51,639 --> 00:28:54,027
... but not buy into any one
and only belief system.
506
00:28:55,767 --> 00:28:58,760
I went to this Trappist monastery
a couple years ago.
507
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:03,187
- Trappist ?
- Yeah, they're Catholic. Cistercian.
508
00:29:03,607 --> 00:29:07,077
- Why did you do that ?
- Why ? I'd been doing some reading.
509
00:29:07,445 --> 00:29:11,121
Thought it'd be cool. Have you ever
spent any time with monks or nuns ?
510
00:29:11,616 --> 00:29:14,812
- No. It's not really my style.
- No ?
511
00:29:15,744 --> 00:29:19,623
Well, I expected them to be all
glowering and stern, but they weren't.
512
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,468
They were quick to laugh,
really easy to be around.
513
00:29:22,794 --> 00:29:25,672
Seriously, very attuned to everything,
they were just...
514
00:29:26,047 --> 00:29:28,356
You know, they weren't trying
to hustle anybody.
515
00:29:28,675 --> 00:29:31,064
They're trying to live and die
in peace with God...
516
00:29:31,387 --> 00:29:33,776
... or whatever part of them
they feel is eternal.
517
00:29:34,098 --> 00:29:35,975
It was just so refreshing to be around.
518
00:29:36,225 --> 00:29:38,613
You realize that most
of the people that you meet...
519
00:29:38,894 --> 00:29:40,612
... are trying
to get somewhere better.
520
00:29:40,854 --> 00:29:43,927
They're trying to make more cash,
get a little more respect...
521
00:29:44,275 --> 00:29:46,584
... have more people admire them.
It's exhausting.
522
00:29:46,903 --> 00:29:49,893
- No kidding.
- And it's exhausting to be one yourself.
523
00:29:50,237 --> 00:29:53,468
There I am, right, you know,
all greedy to be more spiritual.
524
00:29:53,784 --> 00:29:57,220
"I want to be a better person, "
you know ? You can't escape.
525
00:29:57,537 --> 00:30:03,452
I had this boyfriend of mine many years
ago that wanted to be a Buddhist.
526
00:30:04,084 --> 00:30:06,519
So he went to Asia to visit some
of those monasteries.
527
00:30:06,838 --> 00:30:10,387
- I've thought about doing that too.
- Yeah, you should. I'll tell you why.
528
00:30:10,759 --> 00:30:13,990
He was good-looking, and each time
he went to one of the monasteries...
529
00:30:14,304 --> 00:30:16,819
... a monk offered to suck his cock.
530
00:30:17,141 --> 00:30:18,779
True story.
531
00:30:19,310 --> 00:30:22,107
It all comes down to that, doesn't it ?
532
00:30:22,437 --> 00:30:24,507
That's why I really admire
what you're doing.
533
00:30:24,815 --> 00:30:26,851
- You know ?
- What do you mean ? Sucking cock ?
534
00:30:27,151 --> 00:30:30,188
- No.
- No ? Wrong answer.
535
00:30:30,488 --> 00:30:34,115
No, I was gonna say
you're not detached from life.
536
00:30:34,490 --> 00:30:36,799
You're putting your passion into action.
537
00:30:37,118 --> 00:30:39,679
Well, I try.
538
00:30:40,413 --> 00:30:43,644
You know something ?
I'm gonna be on planes...
539
00:30:43,958 --> 00:30:46,188
... and in an airport
for the next eight hours...
540
00:30:46,502 --> 00:30:48,777
I'd just love to see
a little bit more of Paris.
541
00:30:49,171 --> 00:30:50,571
- Would you walk with me ?
- Yeah.
542
00:30:50,799 --> 00:30:52,073
- Do you mind ?
- That's great.
543
00:30:52,342 --> 00:30:54,173
- Do you want to ?
- Let's do that. Yeah.
544
00:30:54,469 --> 00:30:56,221
What do we owe here ?
Four-fifty ?
545
00:30:56,513 --> 00:30:58,947
No, I got it, I got a little
per diem going on here.
546
00:30:59,224 --> 00:31:01,375
- This good, for a tip ?
- Yeah, that's fine.
547
00:31:01,686 --> 00:31:03,916
- That's more than enough.
- Throw that in too.
548
00:31:04,272 --> 00:31:07,627
- Is there anywhere to go around here ?
- It's sales day today.
549
00:31:07,983 --> 00:31:10,781
- What's that ?
- It's when everything's on sale in Paris.
550
00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:12,757
It's twice a year.
551
00:31:15,324 --> 00:31:16,916
All right, let's go shopping.
552
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,150
No, no, no. That's a bad idea.
I don't wanna inflict that on you.
553
00:31:20,494 --> 00:31:24,249
It's madness. Let's just go
to this garden path. It's really nice.
554
00:31:24,749 --> 00:31:27,058
All right. That sounds
better than shopping, actually.
555
00:31:27,335 --> 00:31:29,370
Not that I wouldn't do
whatever you wanted.
556
00:31:29,628 --> 00:31:32,506
Sometimes I don't even need
to buy anything. I just get high...
557
00:31:32,798 --> 00:31:34,517
... on trying on
and looking at things.
558
00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:36,477
Is this where we're going ?
559
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,870
- Yeah.
- A therapist will tell you that's good.
560
00:31:39,139 --> 00:31:41,414
- Really ? Are you ever in therapy ?
- Oh, no.
561
00:31:41,725 --> 00:31:44,637
- Do I seem like I'm in therapy ?
- I'm kidding.
562
00:31:45,187 --> 00:31:48,863
- Does it help your sex problems ?
- My sex problems ?
563
00:31:49,192 --> 00:31:50,671
- I'm kidding.
- Tell me the truth.
564
00:31:50,943 --> 00:31:53,092
- We didn't have any problems.
- No, I'm kidding.
565
00:31:53,403 --> 00:31:55,758
- We didn't even have sex.
- That's a joke, right ?
566
00:31:56,072 --> 00:31:58,633
No, we didn't.
I mean, that was the whole thing.
567
00:31:58,910 --> 00:32:00,866
- Of course we did.
- No, no, no, we didn't.
568
00:32:01,162 --> 00:32:03,833
You didn't have a condom
and I never have sex without one.
569
00:32:04,163 --> 00:32:05,960
I'm extremely paranoid.
There's no way...
570
00:32:06,248 --> 00:32:08,683
I find it scary that you don't
remember what happened.
571
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,279
No, listen...
572
00:32:10,504 --> 00:32:13,098
... I didn't write an entire book,
but I kept a journal...
573
00:32:13,423 --> 00:32:17,210
... and I wrote the whole night in it.
That's what I meant, you idealizing it.
574
00:32:17,551 --> 00:32:20,669
All right, listen, I even remember
what brand of condom we used.
575
00:32:20,972 --> 00:32:22,803
That's disgusting.
I don't wanna hear it.
576
00:32:23,058 --> 00:32:25,492
- That's not disgusting.
- No.
577
00:32:25,852 --> 00:32:30,164
Okay, when I get home I'll check my
journal from '94, but I know I'm right.
578
00:32:33,236 --> 00:32:35,067
- Wait a minute.
- What ?
579
00:32:35,321 --> 00:32:37,959
- Was it in the cemetery ?
- No.
580
00:32:38,281 --> 00:32:40,556
No, we went to the cemetery
in the afternoon.
581
00:32:40,826 --> 00:32:43,625
It was in the park, very late at night.
582
00:32:44,122 --> 00:32:46,192
- In the park ?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
583
00:32:46,457 --> 00:32:48,207
I can't... I can't...
584
00:32:49,208 --> 00:32:52,359
Is it that forgettable ? You really
don't remember ? In the park ?
585
00:32:52,712 --> 00:32:55,431
Okay. Wait a minute,
I think you might be right...
586
00:32:55,757 --> 00:32:57,031
You're messing with me now.
587
00:32:57,300 --> 00:32:58,618
- No.
- Are you messing with me ?
588
00:32:58,884 --> 00:33:01,921
Okay. No, I'm sorry. I think...
I mean, you're right, okay ?
589
00:33:02,263 --> 00:33:05,574
Sometimes I put things in drawers
inside my head and forget about it.
590
00:33:05,934 --> 00:33:08,494
It's less painful to put things
away than live with it.
591
00:33:08,812 --> 00:33:11,406
What, so that night was, like,
a sad memory for you ?
592
00:33:11,731 --> 00:33:13,483
I didn't mean that night
in particular.
593
00:33:13,733 --> 00:33:15,725
I meant certain things
are better forgotten.
594
00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:18,417
I remember that night
better than I do entire years.
595
00:33:18,739 --> 00:33:20,457
- Me too.
- Really ?
596
00:33:20,699 --> 00:33:22,769
Well, I thought I did.
597
00:33:25,495 --> 00:33:29,011
But maybe I... Maybe I put it away
because of the fact that...
598
00:33:29,333 --> 00:33:32,323
... my grandmother's funeral was
the day we were supposed to meet.
599
00:33:32,668 --> 00:33:35,501
It was a tough day for me,
but it must've been worse for you.
600
00:33:35,838 --> 00:33:40,230
It was unreal. I remember looking
at her dead body in the coffin...
601
00:33:40,594 --> 00:33:44,791
... at her beautiful hands, so warm,
so sweet, that used to hold me...
602
00:33:45,473 --> 00:33:48,625
... but nothing in that coffin resembled
what I remembered of her.
603
00:33:48,935 --> 00:33:50,448
All the warmth was gone.
604
00:33:50,771 --> 00:33:53,444
And then I was crying,
so confused if I was crying...
605
00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:59,090
... because I was never gonna see her
again or never gonna see you again...
606
00:33:59,529 --> 00:34:03,205
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to go on like this.
I've been a little down this week.
607
00:34:03,576 --> 00:34:06,453
- Why ?
- I don't know. Nothing bad, just...
608
00:34:06,787 --> 00:34:08,664
Reading your book, maybe ?
609
00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:12,624
No, but... Thinking of how hopeful
I was that summer and fall...
610
00:34:13,002 --> 00:34:15,118
... and since then it's been kind of a...
611
00:34:15,797 --> 00:34:17,148
I don't know.
612
00:34:17,379 --> 00:34:21,372
Memory is a wonderful thing if
you don't have to deal with the past.
613
00:34:24,262 --> 00:34:26,981
"Memory is wonderful if you don't
have to deal with the past. "
614
00:34:27,265 --> 00:34:28,856
Can I put that
on a bumper sticker ?
615
00:34:29,099 --> 00:34:31,693
If you wrote a book about our night,
that's a good title.
616
00:34:31,977 --> 00:34:35,687
- And it could be a total different book.
- Yeah, there'd be no sex scenes.
617
00:34:36,441 --> 00:34:37,715
- But you know what ?
- What ?
618
00:34:37,984 --> 00:34:39,303
Now that we've met again...
619
00:34:39,569 --> 00:34:42,083
... we can change our memory
of that December 16.
620
00:34:42,364 --> 00:34:45,641
It no longer has that sad ending
of us never seeing each other again.
621
00:34:45,993 --> 00:34:50,270
Right. I mean, I guess a memory's
never finished as long as you're alive.
622
00:34:50,664 --> 00:34:54,100
Yeah, I know. I have this memory
from my childhood...
623
00:34:54,459 --> 00:34:56,928
... I realized recently never happened.
- What ?
624
00:34:57,213 --> 00:35:00,046
Well, when I was 8 or 9,
my mom was so paranoid...
625
00:35:00,341 --> 00:35:03,092
... when I was walking home
from my piano lesson at night...
626
00:35:03,384 --> 00:35:05,978
... she'd warn me about dirty old men
giving me candies...
627
00:35:06,262 --> 00:35:08,015
... and then showing me
their pee-pees.
628
00:35:08,265 --> 00:35:11,223
She was so obsessed with it that,
later in life, you know...
629
00:35:11,518 --> 00:35:14,793
... I had this image in my head
that this really happened.
630
00:35:15,104 --> 00:35:18,495
To the point that I even associated sex
with that walk home.
631
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:22,366
I mean, and sometimes,
even now, when I'm...
632
00:35:23,405 --> 00:35:27,193
When I'm having sex, I see myself
walking down that street.
633
00:35:27,534 --> 00:35:29,366
I swear. It's so weird, right ?
634
00:35:29,620 --> 00:35:33,659
- Is that street nearby ? I mean, could... ?
- Could we ? No.
635
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,115
Very far.
636
00:35:37,377 --> 00:35:39,811
Did you ever keep a journal
when you were a kid ?
637
00:35:40,088 --> 00:35:43,286
Yeah. On and off, I guess.
638
00:35:43,593 --> 00:35:45,663
It's funny, I read one of mine...
639
00:35:45,928 --> 00:35:47,723
... from '83 the other day.
- Yeah ?
640
00:35:48,137 --> 00:35:49,729
And what really surprised me is...
641
00:35:49,972 --> 00:35:52,771
... that I was dealing with life
the same way I am now.
642
00:35:53,101 --> 00:35:55,012
I was much more hopeful and naive...
643
00:35:55,270 --> 00:35:59,387
... but the core, and the way I was
feeling things, is exactly the same.
644
00:35:59,732 --> 00:36:01,962
It made me realize
I haven't changed much at all.
645
00:36:02,234 --> 00:36:03,668
I don't think anybody does.
646
00:36:03,904 --> 00:36:07,533
People don't want to admit it, but it's
like we have these innate set points...
647
00:36:07,866 --> 00:36:11,336
... and nothing much that happens to us
changes our disposition.
648
00:36:11,661 --> 00:36:13,060
- You believe that ?
- I think so.
649
00:36:13,288 --> 00:36:16,486
I read this study where they followed
people who'd won the lottery...
650
00:36:16,793 --> 00:36:18,590
... and people who'd become paraplegics.
651
00:36:18,836 --> 00:36:22,828
You'd think one extreme is gonna make
you euphoric and the other suicidal.
652
00:36:23,173 --> 00:36:25,768
But the study shows that,
after about six months...
653
00:36:26,052 --> 00:36:29,203
... as soon as people had gotten used to
their new situation...
654
00:36:29,514 --> 00:36:31,742
... they were, more or less, the same.
- The same ?
655
00:36:32,014 --> 00:36:35,086
Yeah. Like, if they were basically
an optimistic, jovial person...
656
00:36:35,392 --> 00:36:38,112
... they're now an optimistic, jovial
person in a wheelchair.
657
00:36:38,438 --> 00:36:40,315
If they're a petty, miserable asshole...
658
00:36:40,565 --> 00:36:44,352
... they're a petty, miserable asshole
with a new Cadillac, a house and a boat.
659
00:36:44,693 --> 00:36:47,891
So I'll be forever depressed
no matter what great things happen ?
660
00:36:48,198 --> 00:36:49,517
- Definitely.
- Great.
661
00:36:49,741 --> 00:36:51,379
No, come on, are you depressed now ?
662
00:36:51,618 --> 00:36:53,813
No, no, I'm not depressed.
663
00:36:54,079 --> 00:36:56,639
But sometimes I worry
I'll get to the end of my life...
664
00:36:56,915 --> 00:37:00,306
... feeling I haven't done all I wanted to.
- Well, what do you want to do ?
665
00:37:00,628 --> 00:37:02,266
I...
666
00:37:02,505 --> 00:37:05,416
I want to paint more,
I want to play my guitar every day.
667
00:37:05,715 --> 00:37:08,787
I want to learn Chinese.
I want to write more songs.
668
00:37:09,094 --> 00:37:13,247
There's so many things I want to do,
and I end up doing not much.
669
00:37:14,350 --> 00:37:19,945
All right, well, let me ask you this:
Do you believe in ghosts or spirits ?
670
00:37:20,354 --> 00:37:21,674
No.
671
00:37:21,898 --> 00:37:23,172
- No ?
- No.
672
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,994
- Okay, what about reincarnation ?
- Not at all.
673
00:37:27,319 --> 00:37:29,196
- God ?
- No.
674
00:37:29,447 --> 00:37:31,836
- All right.
- That sounds terrible. No, no, no.
675
00:37:32,116 --> 00:37:35,871
But I don't want to be one of those
people that don't believe in any magic.
676
00:37:36,204 --> 00:37:38,035
- So then, astrology ?
- Yes, of course !
677
00:37:38,290 --> 00:37:40,042
- There we go.
- That makes sense, right ?
678
00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:43,568
You're a Scorpio,
I'm a Sag, we get along.
679
00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:46,382
No, no, no.
680
00:37:46,632 --> 00:37:49,543
There's an Einstein quote
I really, really like.
681
00:37:49,843 --> 00:37:53,199
He said, "If you don't believe
in any kind of magic or mystery
682
00:37:53,513 --> 00:37:56,233
you're basically as good as dead. "
- Yeah, I like that.
683
00:37:56,517 --> 00:37:59,714
I've always felt there was some kind of
mystical core to the universe.
684
00:38:00,021 --> 00:38:05,013
But, more recently, I've started to think
that, me, my personality, whatever...
685
00:38:05,399 --> 00:38:08,358
That I don't have any permanent
place here, you know.
686
00:38:08,653 --> 00:38:10,245
In eternity or whatever, you know.
687
00:38:10,489 --> 00:38:14,163
And the more I think that, I can't go
through life saying this is no big deal.
688
00:38:14,492 --> 00:38:17,849
This is it. This is actually happening.
What do you think is interesting ?
689
00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:20,233
What do you think is funny ?
What is important ?
690
00:38:20,540 --> 00:38:22,735
You know, every day's our last.
691
00:38:23,210 --> 00:38:26,566
When I feel that way, I usually
call my mom to tell her I love her.
692
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,439
- Yeah ?
- And she's always:
693
00:38:28,674 --> 00:38:32,633
"Are you okay ? Do you have cancer ?
Are you gonna commit suicide ?"
694
00:38:32,970 --> 00:38:35,483
It's almost not worth it.
695
00:38:36,807 --> 00:38:39,480
So, what about us ?
696
00:38:39,769 --> 00:38:42,203
- What about us ?
- No, what I mean is...
697
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,914
... if we were both going to die tonight...
- Like the apocalypse was coming ?
698
00:38:46,232 --> 00:38:50,191
No, that's too dramatic... But what if
just the two of us were going to die ?
699
00:38:50,528 --> 00:38:52,406
I mean, would we talk
about your book ?
700
00:38:52,656 --> 00:38:55,295
- The environment ? Or...
- If today was our last day ?
701
00:38:55,575 --> 00:38:58,088
Yeah, what would we talk about ?
What would you tell me ?
702
00:38:58,369 --> 00:38:59,848
- Well...
- That's hard, huh ?
703
00:39:00,079 --> 00:39:01,353
- No, no, I'll do it.
- Okay.
704
00:39:01,580 --> 00:39:03,936
I definitely would
stop talking about my book.
705
00:39:04,209 --> 00:39:06,769
- I would probably drop the environment.
- Okay.
706
00:39:07,045 --> 00:39:10,833
But I would still want to talk about,
you know, the magic in the universe.
707
00:39:11,174 --> 00:39:14,247
- I'd just want to do it from a...
- What ?
708
00:39:14,554 --> 00:39:16,112
... a hotel room, you know...
709
00:39:16,347 --> 00:39:19,975
... in between sessions of us
wildly fucking until we die.
710
00:39:20,308 --> 00:39:23,027
Wow. Well, why waste time
with an hotel room ?
711
00:39:23,311 --> 00:39:26,588
Why not do it right there on a bench ?
712
00:39:27,483 --> 00:39:29,758
Come here, come here, come here.
713
00:39:30,025 --> 00:39:32,334
Okay. We're not gonna die tonight.
714
00:39:32,611 --> 00:39:34,567
All right. Too bad. I'm sorry.
715
00:39:34,822 --> 00:39:36,302
That was an extreme example.
716
00:39:36,533 --> 00:39:38,888
- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
717
00:39:39,161 --> 00:39:40,753
What I... My point was, you know...
718
00:39:40,996 --> 00:39:43,714
... to truly communicate with
people is very hard to do.
719
00:39:43,998 --> 00:39:46,671
No, I know, most of our
day-to-day exchanges...
720
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,439
Yeah, no, I mean...
721
00:39:48,670 --> 00:39:51,184
... not to bring everything back to sex...
- But why not ?
722
00:39:51,465 --> 00:39:54,457
No, this example, this friend of mine,
she was talking about...
723
00:39:54,759 --> 00:39:57,671
- She and her boyfriend... Problems in bed.
- Right.
724
00:39:58,014 --> 00:40:01,370
And how when they had been dating
for a year she started telling him...
725
00:40:01,684 --> 00:40:04,561
... what he could do to please her more,
and it freaked him out.
726
00:40:04,853 --> 00:40:06,127
- Why ?
- Totally.
727
00:40:06,396 --> 00:40:08,307
He thought it meant
he was a bad lover...
728
00:40:08,565 --> 00:40:10,363
Maybe she shouldn't have
waited so long.
729
00:40:10,610 --> 00:40:12,885
- After a year...
- But men are so easily offended.
730
00:40:13,154 --> 00:40:15,541
- What, more than women ?
- Definitely on that subject.
731
00:40:15,821 --> 00:40:17,140
- You think so ?
- Yeah, yeah.
732
00:40:17,948 --> 00:40:19,984
Well, maybe it's because, you know...
733
00:40:20,242 --> 00:40:24,122
... men are easier to... To please.
- To please ?
734
00:40:24,498 --> 00:40:27,375
- Well, I don't know.
- Yeah, they are. They're definitely.
735
00:40:27,708 --> 00:40:29,744
Anyway, this friend,
she was telling me...
736
00:40:30,002 --> 00:40:33,518
... next time she dates a man,
she's gonna make a little questionnaire...
737
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,150
... about what they like and dislike...
- What, written down, or out loud ?
738
00:40:37,469 --> 00:40:39,141
Yeah, mostly written down.
739
00:40:39,387 --> 00:40:42,903
But it wouldn't be just yes or no.
It would be a bit more complex than that.
740
00:40:43,226 --> 00:40:46,582
Like, for example, if the question is:
"Are you into S & M ?"
741
00:40:46,896 --> 00:40:51,525
The answer could be: "No, but a good
spanking once in a while doesn't hurt. "
742
00:40:51,900 --> 00:40:55,450
Right, or like:
"Do you like talking dirty in bed ?"
743
00:40:55,780 --> 00:40:59,090
- That kind of thing ?
- Yeah, but not just like any dirty talk.
744
00:40:59,408 --> 00:41:01,681
Just "What specific word
would you like to hear ?"
745
00:41:01,951 --> 00:41:03,225
- What, me ?
- Well, yeah.
746
00:41:03,452 --> 00:41:06,013
For example what specific word
would you like to hear ?
747
00:41:06,289 --> 00:41:07,847
I don't know.
748
00:41:09,417 --> 00:41:11,850
What do you feel about the word
"pussy" ?
749
00:41:12,128 --> 00:41:14,801
I love it.
750
00:41:15,297 --> 00:41:16,890
Good.
751
00:41:17,134 --> 00:41:20,012
It's amazing what perverts we've
become in the past nine years.
752
00:41:20,303 --> 00:41:23,454
At least now we don't have to pretend
each new sexual experience...
753
00:41:23,765 --> 00:41:25,403
... is, like, a life-altering event.
754
00:41:25,642 --> 00:41:28,999
I know. By now, you've stuck it in
so many places it's about to fall off.
755
00:41:29,313 --> 00:41:32,862
And I can't realistically expect you've
become anything but a total ho.
756
00:41:33,191 --> 00:41:36,467
- Yeah, thank you.
- No, I'm s...
757
00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:40,074
- That's true. What can you do ?
- What can you do ?
758
00:41:40,366 --> 00:41:43,995
So, what kind of songs do you write ?
I didn't know you did that.
759
00:41:44,326 --> 00:41:45,475
- What kind ?
- Yeah, sure.
760
00:41:45,703 --> 00:41:47,295
- I don't know, just songs.
- Like ?
761
00:41:47,538 --> 00:41:50,099
Like, some are about,
you know, people.
762
00:41:50,375 --> 00:41:51,967
Relationships. One's about my cat.
763
00:41:52,210 --> 00:41:54,599
- Sing one.
- No, I can't. I don't have a guitar.
764
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,392
- Come on. A cappella.
- No, no, no.
765
00:41:56,630 --> 00:41:59,667
I'm not singing a song without a guitar.
You're nuts.
766
00:42:00,301 --> 00:42:02,133
Why not ?
767
00:42:02,387 --> 00:42:04,742
- No, okay. Not now. No.
- One.
768
00:42:05,015 --> 00:42:08,132
If not now, when ? You want to meet
here in six months with a guitar ?
769
00:42:08,435 --> 00:42:09,868
I'll fly all the way over here.
770
00:42:10,103 --> 00:42:12,982
- You may or may not make the Métro.
- Okay, that's funny.
771
00:42:13,483 --> 00:42:15,474
- We've got to get back.
- We'll be all right.
772
00:42:15,735 --> 00:42:17,646
- You're gonna miss your flight.
- All right.
773
00:42:17,903 --> 00:42:19,655
We can walk down La Seine.
It's nice.
774
00:42:19,905 --> 00:42:21,418
Okay.
775
00:42:22,073 --> 00:42:25,623
- So you're flying back to New York ?
- Yeah, yeah.
776
00:42:27,663 --> 00:42:31,449
So I read in that article that
you're married with a kid. That's great.
777
00:42:31,791 --> 00:42:34,180
Yeah, he's... He's 4.
778
00:42:34,460 --> 00:42:36,577
- What's his name ?
- Henry. Little Hank.
779
00:42:36,838 --> 00:42:39,511
- He's so much fun.
- Oh, wow, I'm sure.
780
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,632
- Your wife, what does she do ?
- She teaches elementary school.
781
00:42:43,302 --> 00:42:45,770
- Do you have kids ?
- Yes, two... Shit !
782
00:42:46,056 --> 00:42:47,455
- What ?
- I left them in the car !
783
00:42:47,682 --> 00:42:50,242
With the windows up, six months ago !
Think they're okay ?
784
00:42:50,519 --> 00:42:53,033
No, I'm kidding.
No, but I want to have kids someday.
785
00:42:53,313 --> 00:42:55,110
- I'm just not ready yet.
- No ?
786
00:42:55,357 --> 00:42:58,395
- I'm in a good relationship, though.
- Oh yeah ? That's good.
787
00:42:58,694 --> 00:43:00,685
- What's he do ?
- He's a photojournalist.
788
00:43:00,947 --> 00:43:02,698
He does war coverage.
789
00:43:02,948 --> 00:43:05,416
He's away a lot, which is good
because I'm so busy.
790
00:43:05,700 --> 00:43:09,614
But isn't that dangerous ? Aren't a lot of
those guys getting killed these days ?
791
00:43:09,956 --> 00:43:13,073
He promises me he doesn't take risks,
but I often worry.
792
00:43:13,376 --> 00:43:15,808
He goes in this trance when
he photographs something.
793
00:43:16,085 --> 00:43:19,282
- What do you mean ?
- Well, once we were in New Delhi...
794
00:43:19,589 --> 00:43:21,022
... and we passed a bum on the...
795
00:43:21,258 --> 00:43:23,408
- A bomb ?
- A bum. A homeless.
796
00:43:23,677 --> 00:43:24,951
All right, right.
797
00:43:25,177 --> 00:43:28,852
He looked like he needed help, but his
first reaction was to photograph him.
798
00:43:29,181 --> 00:43:31,901
He went really close to his face,
fixing his collar...
799
00:43:32,185 --> 00:43:33,857
... totally detached from the person.
800
00:43:34,104 --> 00:43:36,743
But don't you have to be like that
to be good at that job ?
801
00:43:37,023 --> 00:43:38,297
Yeah, I mean, I'm not...
802
00:43:38,525 --> 00:43:41,517
I'm not judging him.
What he does is essential and incredible.
803
00:43:41,821 --> 00:43:43,857
All I'm saying is that
I could never do it.
804
00:43:44,115 --> 00:43:45,787
Let's get on that boat. Come on.
805
00:43:46,033 --> 00:43:47,307
- No !
- Come on, it'll be fun.
806
00:43:47,534 --> 00:43:49,764
- You don't have time !
- They're about to take off.
807
00:43:50,036 --> 00:43:52,345
I've got 5 more minutes.
Do you have a cell phone ?
808
00:43:52,622 --> 00:43:54,853
- Yeah.
- All right, I've got that driver's number.
809
00:43:55,126 --> 00:43:57,196
I can call him to pick us up
at the next stop.
810
00:43:57,462 --> 00:44:01,169
I've never been on those boats.
It's for tourists, it's embarrassing.
811
00:44:01,505 --> 00:44:02,779
Okay. All right.
812
00:44:06,261 --> 00:44:07,819
No, I'll get it, I'll get it.
813
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,147
All right. All right, all right.
814
00:44:14,769 --> 00:44:16,044
Thank you.
815
00:44:16,271 --> 00:44:18,341
- So are you in love with that guy ?
- What guy ?
816
00:44:18,607 --> 00:44:21,804
- The war photographer.
- Yes, of course.
817
00:44:25,739 --> 00:44:27,856
So do you have that cell phone ?
818
00:44:28,117 --> 00:44:29,789
Oh, yeah.
819
00:44:30,036 --> 00:44:31,788
- Okay, let's see...
- Okay.
820
00:44:32,038 --> 00:44:33,311
What do I tell him ?
821
00:44:33,538 --> 00:44:35,654
Tell him to pick you up at
Quai Henri Quatre.
822
00:44:35,916 --> 00:44:38,590
Oh, shit. Quai... ?
823
00:44:38,878 --> 00:44:41,551
Henri Quatre. Quai Henri Quatre.
824
00:44:41,839 --> 00:44:43,793
Henri Quatre.
825
00:44:44,048 --> 00:44:46,926
What's wrong with you ? No, do you
want me to... ? Henri Quatre.
826
00:44:47,218 --> 00:44:48,537
- Henry Four ?
- Yes !
827
00:44:48,761 --> 00:44:51,640
- Come on, why didn't you say so ?
- I'm sorry. Okay.
828
00:45:03,902 --> 00:45:05,733
Yeah, is this Philippe ?
829
00:45:05,987 --> 00:45:08,547
Yeah. Philippe, this is Jesse Wallace.
830
00:45:08,824 --> 00:45:10,143
Yeah.
831
00:45:10,367 --> 00:45:14,441
Well, listen, I'm on
one of those boats, right ?
832
00:45:14,789 --> 00:45:17,586
And we're gonna arrive at Henry Four.
833
00:45:17,874 --> 00:45:21,105
At Port Henry Four.
You know what that is ?
834
00:45:21,419 --> 00:45:23,809
All right, great.
And you have my bags, right ?
835
00:45:24,090 --> 00:45:26,923
Yeah, so we'll be there in...
I don't know, it's the next stop.
836
00:45:27,218 --> 00:45:29,491
Okay. Au revoir.
837
00:45:30,678 --> 00:45:33,033
- It's okay ?
- Yeah, yeah.
838
00:45:33,305 --> 00:45:35,183
Oh, wow.
839
00:45:35,434 --> 00:45:38,028
- Notre Dame, man. Check that out.
- Oh, wow.
840
00:45:38,311 --> 00:45:42,144
I heard this story once about when
the Germans were occupying Paris...
841
00:45:42,481 --> 00:45:44,039
... and they had to retreat back.
842
00:45:44,275 --> 00:45:46,153
They wired Notre Dame to blow...
843
00:45:46,403 --> 00:45:50,476
... but they had to leave one guy
in charge of hitting the switch.
844
00:45:50,824 --> 00:45:53,782
And the guy, the soldier,
he couldn't do it.
845
00:45:54,077 --> 00:45:57,627
He just sat there, knocked out
by how beautiful the place was.
846
00:45:57,957 --> 00:45:59,754
Then, when the Allied troops
came in...
847
00:46:00,001 --> 00:46:03,356
... they found all the explosives
lying there and the switch unturned...
848
00:46:03,670 --> 00:46:07,185
... and they found the same thing
at the Sacré-Coeur, Eiffel Tower...
849
00:46:07,508 --> 00:46:09,703
... couple other places, I think.
850
00:46:09,969 --> 00:46:11,846
Is that true ?
851
00:46:12,096 --> 00:46:15,052
I don't know.
I always liked the story, though.
852
00:46:15,347 --> 00:46:16,666
Yeah, that's a great story.
853
00:46:16,932 --> 00:46:19,686
But you have to think that Notre Dame
will be gone one day.
854
00:46:19,978 --> 00:46:23,015
There used to be another church
at the Seine, right there.
855
00:46:23,315 --> 00:46:26,033
- What, right in the same spot ?
- Yeah.
856
00:46:27,610 --> 00:46:29,966
You know, this is great.
I've never done this.
857
00:46:30,238 --> 00:46:32,752
- Yeah.
- I forget about how beautiful Paris is.
858
00:46:33,033 --> 00:46:34,591
It's not so bad, being a tourist.
859
00:46:34,826 --> 00:46:37,215
- Thanks for getting me on the boat.
- You're welcome.
860
00:46:37,496 --> 00:46:40,294
I think that book that I wrote
was like building something...
861
00:46:40,917 --> 00:46:44,910
... so that I wouldn't forget the details
of the time that we spent together.
862
00:46:45,296 --> 00:46:48,890
You know, like, just as a reminder,
that once, we really did meet.
863
00:46:49,216 --> 00:46:52,049
You know, that this was real,
this happened.
864
00:46:52,345 --> 00:46:54,256
I'm happy you're saying that,
because...
865
00:46:54,514 --> 00:46:58,630
I mean, I always feel like a freak because
I'm never able to move on like this:
866
00:46:59,934 --> 00:47:03,085
People just have an affair,
or even entire relationships...
867
00:47:03,438 --> 00:47:05,713
... they break up and they forget.
868
00:47:05,982 --> 00:47:09,690
They move on like they would have
changed brand of cereals.
869
00:47:10,486 --> 00:47:13,603
I feel I was never able to forget
anyone I've been with...
870
00:47:13,906 --> 00:47:19,265
... because each person had their own
specific qualities.
871
00:47:19,663 --> 00:47:24,293
You can never replace anyone.
What is lost is lost.
872
00:47:25,670 --> 00:47:29,663
Each relationship, when it ends,
really damages me. I never fully recover.
873
00:47:30,007 --> 00:47:33,043
That's why I'm very careful
with getting involved...
874
00:47:33,343 --> 00:47:35,299
... because it hurts too much.
875
00:47:35,554 --> 00:47:38,592
Even getting laid,
I actually don't do that...
876
00:47:38,891 --> 00:47:41,689
... because I will miss of the person
the most mundane things.
877
00:47:41,978 --> 00:47:44,570
Like I'm obsessed with little things.
878
00:47:45,020 --> 00:47:47,250
Maybe I'm crazy,
but when I was a little girl...
879
00:47:47,523 --> 00:47:50,322
... my mom told me
that I was always late to school.
880
00:47:50,610 --> 00:47:52,885
One day she followed me to see why.
881
00:47:53,196 --> 00:47:57,313
I was looking at chestnuts falling from
the trees, rolling on the sidewalk...
882
00:47:57,658 --> 00:48:03,177
... or ants crossing the road, the way
a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk.
883
00:48:03,582 --> 00:48:05,538
Little things.
884
00:48:06,126 --> 00:48:07,878
I think it's the same with people.
885
00:48:08,462 --> 00:48:11,261
I see in them little details,
so specific to each of them...
886
00:48:11,549 --> 00:48:15,508
... that move me and that I miss
and will always miss.
887
00:48:15,845 --> 00:48:17,277
You can never replace anyone...
888
00:48:17,512 --> 00:48:21,300
... because everyone is made of such
beautiful, specific details.
889
00:48:24,937 --> 00:48:28,086
Like, I remember the way your beard
has a bit of red in it...
890
00:48:28,981 --> 00:48:31,541
... and how the sun
was making it glow...
891
00:48:31,859 --> 00:48:34,533
... that morning right before you left.
892
00:48:35,572 --> 00:48:39,325
I remembered that, and I missed it.
893
00:48:39,658 --> 00:48:40,932
Really crazy, right ?
894
00:48:41,619 --> 00:48:45,374
Now I know for sure. You wanna
know why I wrote that stupid book ?
895
00:48:45,749 --> 00:48:48,547
- Why ?
- So you'd come to a reading in Paris...
896
00:48:48,877 --> 00:48:52,870
... and I could walk up to you and ask,
"Where the fuck were you ?"
897
00:48:53,465 --> 00:48:55,582
No... You think I'd be here today ?
898
00:48:55,843 --> 00:49:00,200
I'm serious. I think I wrote it,
in a way, to try to find you.
899
00:49:00,598 --> 00:49:02,588
Okay, that's... I know that's not true...
900
00:49:02,849 --> 00:49:05,079
... but that's sweet of you.
- I think it is true.
901
00:49:05,393 --> 00:49:07,749
What were the chances
of us ever meeting again ?
902
00:49:08,648 --> 00:49:11,720
After that December,
I'd say almost zero.
903
00:49:12,274 --> 00:49:14,230
But we're not real anyway, right ?
904
00:49:14,485 --> 00:49:17,557
We're just characters
in that old lady's dream.
905
00:49:17,864 --> 00:49:20,173
She's on her deathbed,
fantasizing about her youth.
906
00:49:20,450 --> 00:49:22,441
So of course we had to meet again.
907
00:49:22,702 --> 00:49:26,455
Oh, God. Why weren't you there
in Vienna ?
908
00:49:27,790 --> 00:49:31,386
- I told you why.
- I know why, I just...
909
00:49:31,711 --> 00:49:33,861
I wish you would have been.
910
00:49:34,131 --> 00:49:36,281
Our lives might have been
so much different.
911
00:49:36,550 --> 00:49:38,666
You think so ?
912
00:49:38,927 --> 00:49:40,486
I actually do.
913
00:49:40,763 --> 00:49:43,755
Maybe not. Maybe we would have
hated each other eventually.
914
00:49:44,100 --> 00:49:46,852
What, like we hate each other now ?
915
00:49:47,894 --> 00:49:52,207
You know, maybe we're...
We're only good at brief encounters...
916
00:49:52,567 --> 00:49:56,606
... walking around in European cities,
in warm climate.
917
00:49:57,278 --> 00:50:00,270
Oh, God. Why didn't we
exchange phone numbers and stuff ?
918
00:50:00,573 --> 00:50:02,644
Why didn't we do that ?
919
00:50:02,909 --> 00:50:05,184
Because we were young and stupid.
920
00:50:05,454 --> 00:50:07,649
Do you think we still are ?
921
00:50:07,914 --> 00:50:09,949
I guess when you're young
you just believe...
922
00:50:10,207 --> 00:50:12,641
... there'll be many people
you'll connect with.
923
00:50:13,419 --> 00:50:15,934
Later in life you realize
it only happens a few times.
924
00:50:16,214 --> 00:50:19,684
And you can screw it up, you know.
Misconnect.
925
00:50:20,051 --> 00:50:22,360
The past is the past.
It was meant to be that way.
926
00:50:22,637 --> 00:50:25,198
You really believe that ?
That everything's fated ?
927
00:50:25,475 --> 00:50:29,309
Well, you know, the world might be
less free than we think.
928
00:50:29,645 --> 00:50:31,282
Yeah ?
929
00:50:31,605 --> 00:50:35,359
When given these exact circumstances,
that's what will happen every time.
930
00:50:35,692 --> 00:50:38,605
Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen,
you'll get water every time.
931
00:50:38,905 --> 00:50:42,179
No, I mean, what if your grandmother
had lived a week longer, you know ?
932
00:50:42,490 --> 00:50:45,004
Or passed away a week earlier ?
Days, even ?
933
00:50:45,284 --> 00:50:46,797
Things might have been different.
934
00:50:47,036 --> 00:50:51,076
- You can't think like that, it's...
- You shouldn't on most things, but...
935
00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:56,409
It's just, on this one, it seemed like
something was off, you know.
936
00:50:57,129 --> 00:51:00,725
In the months leading up to my wedding,
I was thinking about you all the time.
937
00:51:01,051 --> 00:51:04,726
Even on my way there, I'm in the car, a
buddy of mine is driving me downtown...
938
00:51:05,055 --> 00:51:07,694
... and I'm staring out the window
and I think I see you...
939
00:51:07,974 --> 00:51:10,045
... not far from the church, right...
940
00:51:10,311 --> 00:51:12,700
... folding up an umbrella
and walking into a deli...
941
00:51:12,980 --> 00:51:16,449
... on the corner of 13th and Broadway.
942
00:51:16,775 --> 00:51:20,165
And I thought I was going crazy.
But now I think it probably was you.
943
00:51:21,114 --> 00:51:23,628
I lived on 11th and Broadway.
944
00:51:24,534 --> 00:51:26,329
You see ?
945
00:51:27,701 --> 00:51:31,296
So, what is it like to be married?
You haven't talked much about that.
946
00:51:32,374 --> 00:51:35,764
I haven't? How weird.
947
00:51:36,419 --> 00:51:40,206
I don't know. We met, you know,
when I was in college.
948
00:51:40,548 --> 00:51:46,658
And we broke up and got back together
for a period of years, and then...
949
00:51:47,556 --> 00:51:51,595
What ? We were sort of back together
and she was pregnant...
950
00:51:52,436 --> 00:51:53,949
... so marriage.
951
00:51:54,187 --> 00:51:56,144
What is she like ?
952
00:51:56,399 --> 00:51:59,311
She's a great teacher, a good mom.
953
00:51:59,610 --> 00:52:02,521
She's smart, pretty, you know.
954
00:52:02,821 --> 00:52:04,812
I remember thinking at the time...
955
00:52:05,073 --> 00:52:07,349
... that so many of the men
that I admired most...
956
00:52:07,618 --> 00:52:12,246
... that their lives were dedicated to
something greater than themselves.
957
00:52:13,205 --> 00:52:15,799
So you got married because
men you admired were married ?
958
00:52:16,083 --> 00:52:22,080
No, no. It's more like I had this...
This idea of my best self, you know ?
959
00:52:22,506 --> 00:52:24,178
And I wanted to pursue that...
960
00:52:24,425 --> 00:52:27,064
... even if it might have been
overriding my honest self.
961
00:52:27,344 --> 00:52:28,698
You know what I'm saying ?
962
00:52:28,930 --> 00:52:33,287
In the moment, I remember thinking
it didn't much matter, the who of it all.
963
00:52:33,685 --> 00:52:36,074
I mean, that nobody is gonna be
everything to you...
964
00:52:36,354 --> 00:52:39,108
... and that it's just the action
of committing yourself...
965
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:42,756
... you know, meeting
your responsibilities, that matters.
966
00:52:43,070 --> 00:52:46,539
I mean, what is love, right,
if it's not respect, trust, admiration ?
967
00:52:46,865 --> 00:52:49,823
And I... I felt all those things.
968
00:52:50,118 --> 00:52:52,872
Cut to the present,
and I feel like I'm running a nursery...
969
00:52:53,164 --> 00:52:55,724
... with somebody I used to date,
you know.
970
00:52:55,998 --> 00:52:57,750
I mean, I'm like a monk, you know.
971
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:02,677
I mean, I've had sex less than 0 times
in the last four years.
972
00:53:03,381 --> 00:53:05,849
- What, what ? You laughing at me ?
- No.
973
00:53:06,134 --> 00:53:08,852
- It sounds pathetic ?
- What monastery do monks have sex... ?
974
00:53:09,136 --> 00:53:12,333
Okay, you're right, I'm doing better
than most monks.
975
00:53:12,641 --> 00:53:15,030
But I do, I feel like if somebody
were to touch me...
976
00:53:15,310 --> 00:53:17,426
... I would dissolve into molecules.
977
00:53:17,687 --> 00:53:20,326
Well, we're here. We've gotta go.
Come on.
978
00:53:20,607 --> 00:53:22,404
Shit.
979
00:53:34,996 --> 00:53:37,830
- I'm sorry to hear that, you know.
- What ?
980
00:53:38,126 --> 00:53:41,082
You're not that happy
with your marriage.
981
00:53:41,377 --> 00:53:43,937
- This friend of mine, she's a shrink...
- How's she doing ?
982
00:53:44,213 --> 00:53:45,726
She's a mess, but...
983
00:53:45,965 --> 00:53:49,083
No, she said she's been dealing
with couples that are breaking up...
984
00:53:49,386 --> 00:53:51,456
... for the same reason.
- What reason is that ?
985
00:53:51,721 --> 00:53:54,359
They all expected, after a few
years of living together...
986
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:56,870
... for the passion, that desire,
to be the same.
987
00:53:57,143 --> 00:53:58,543
- Yeah, right.
- It's impossible.
988
00:53:58,770 --> 00:54:00,044
And thank God...
989
00:54:00,272 --> 00:54:03,867
... we'd end up with aneurysms in that
constant state of excitement, right ?
990
00:54:04,192 --> 00:54:05,910
We'd do nothing at all
with our lives.
991
00:54:06,153 --> 00:54:09,510
Would you have finished your book
if you were fucking every five minutes ?
992
00:54:09,824 --> 00:54:12,292
I might have welcomed the challenge,
I mean...
993
00:54:12,618 --> 00:54:15,256
It's natural for your wife
after the birth of your son...
994
00:54:15,537 --> 00:54:18,051
... to give all her love to the little one.
- Of course.
995
00:54:18,331 --> 00:54:21,369
If she was obsessed with sex,
riding you like a wildcat...
996
00:54:21,669 --> 00:54:23,341
That wouldn't make any sense, right ?
997
00:54:23,588 --> 00:54:27,022
Everything you're saying makes sense.
It's not about sex.
998
00:54:27,339 --> 00:54:29,455
No, I know. It's obvious.
999
00:54:29,717 --> 00:54:31,231
I...
1000
00:54:32,429 --> 00:54:35,501
You know, couples
are so confused lately.
1001
00:54:35,807 --> 00:54:38,001
I think it must be that...
1002
00:54:38,267 --> 00:54:42,055
... men need to feel essential
and they don't anymore.
1003
00:54:42,397 --> 00:54:44,831
It's been imprinted in their head
for so many years...
1004
00:54:45,108 --> 00:54:46,746
... that they had to be the provider.
1005
00:54:46,985 --> 00:54:50,500
Like, I'm a strong, independent woman
in my professional life.
1006
00:54:50,822 --> 00:54:52,301
I don't need a man to feed me...
1007
00:54:52,532 --> 00:54:55,730
... but I still need a man to love me
and that I could love.
1008
00:54:57,246 --> 00:54:59,805
- So your driver's here.
- Yeah.
1009
00:55:00,123 --> 00:55:01,715
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
1010
00:55:01,958 --> 00:55:03,550
- You better give me your...
- No, no.
1011
00:55:03,794 --> 00:55:05,911
Why don't we just
give you a ride home ?
1012
00:55:06,172 --> 00:55:08,402
- Well, I can take the Métro. I'm fine.
- No, I...
1013
00:55:08,674 --> 00:55:11,505
My flight's not until 0.
I'll be arriving two hours early.
1014
00:55:11,801 --> 00:55:13,154
This way we can keep talking.
1015
00:55:13,385 --> 00:55:15,421
- Monsieur, can... ?
- It's not on the way.
1016
00:55:30,278 --> 00:55:32,109
You told him where you are
and all that ?
1017
00:55:32,364 --> 00:55:33,922
Yeah.
1018
00:55:37,327 --> 00:55:39,683
- He knows where he's going ?
- Yes.
1019
00:55:39,956 --> 00:55:41,753
Glad somebody does.
1020
00:55:41,999 --> 00:55:45,957
- But this is better than the Métro, right ?
- Definitely.
1021
00:55:48,547 --> 00:55:52,780
I was thinking, for me it's better I don't
romanticize things as much anymore.
1022
00:55:53,136 --> 00:55:54,931
I was suffering so much all the time.
1023
00:55:55,177 --> 00:55:58,533
I still have lots of dreams,
but they're not in regard to my love life.
1024
00:55:58,889 --> 00:56:01,165
It doesn't make me sad,
it's just the way it is.
1025
00:56:01,476 --> 00:56:05,435
Is that why you're in a relationship
with somebody who's never around ?
1026
00:56:05,772 --> 00:56:09,525
Yes, obviously I can't deal with
the day-to-day life of a relationship.
1027
00:56:09,859 --> 00:56:11,851
Yeah, we have this
exciting time together...
1028
00:56:12,112 --> 00:56:15,343
... and he leaves and I miss him,
but at least I'm not dying inside.
1029
00:56:15,657 --> 00:56:17,966
When someone's always around me,
I'm suffocating.
1030
00:56:18,285 --> 00:56:21,038
No, wait, you just said
that you need to love and be loved.
1031
00:56:21,371 --> 00:56:24,091
Yeah, but when I do,
it quickly makes me nauseous.
1032
00:56:24,375 --> 00:56:25,774
It's a disaster.
1033
00:56:26,002 --> 00:56:28,561
I mean, I'm really happy
only when I'm on my own.
1034
00:56:28,837 --> 00:56:33,513
Even being alone, it's better than sitting
next to a lover and feeling lonely.
1035
00:56:34,385 --> 00:56:36,216
It's not so easy for me
to be a romantic.
1036
00:56:36,471 --> 00:56:39,825
You start off that way, and after
you've been screwed over a few times...
1037
00:56:40,139 --> 00:56:44,291
... you forget about your delusional ideas
and you take what comes into your life.
1038
00:56:45,144 --> 00:56:47,534
That's not even true.
I haven't been screwed over...
1039
00:56:47,814 --> 00:56:50,123
... I've just had too many
blah relationships.
1040
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,151
They weren't mean,
they cared for me...
1041
00:56:52,401 --> 00:56:55,757
... but there were no real connection
or excitement.
1042
00:56:56,071 --> 00:56:58,142
At least, not from my side.
1043
00:56:58,408 --> 00:57:00,968
God, I'm sorry, is it really that bad ?
1044
00:57:01,244 --> 00:57:03,200
It's not, right ?
1045
00:57:04,539 --> 00:57:07,178
You know, it's not even that.
I was...
1046
00:57:07,459 --> 00:57:10,497
I was fine until I read
your fucking book.
1047
00:57:11,130 --> 00:57:12,722
It stirred shit up, you know ?
1048
00:57:13,174 --> 00:57:15,687
It reminded me how
genuinely romantic I was...
1049
00:57:15,967 --> 00:57:18,037
... how I had so much hope in things...
1050
00:57:18,303 --> 00:57:21,694
... and now it's like I don't believe
in anything that relates to love.
1051
00:57:22,016 --> 00:57:23,927
I don't feel things for people anymore.
1052
00:57:25,142 --> 00:57:28,657
In a way, I put all my romanticism
into that one night...
1053
00:57:28,979 --> 00:57:31,369
... and I was never able to feel
all this again.
1054
00:57:31,650 --> 00:57:34,084
Like, somehow this night
took things away from me...
1055
00:57:34,361 --> 00:57:36,669
... and I expressed them to you,
and you took them with you.
1056
00:57:36,946 --> 00:57:38,743
It made me feel cold,
like love wasn't for me.
1057
00:57:38,989 --> 00:57:41,629
I don't believe that.
I don't believe that.
1058
00:57:42,994 --> 00:57:47,067
You know what ? Reality and love
are almost contradictory for me.
1059
00:57:47,415 --> 00:57:51,533
It's funny, every single of my exes,
they're now married.
1060
00:57:51,878 --> 00:57:54,677
Men go out with me, we break up,
and then they get married.
1061
00:57:54,966 --> 00:57:58,321
And later they call me to thank me
for teaching them what love is...
1062
00:57:58,635 --> 00:58:01,024
... and that I taught them to care
and respect women.
1063
00:58:01,304 --> 00:58:03,579
- I think I'm one of those.
- I want to kill them !
1064
00:58:03,891 --> 00:58:07,361
Why didn't they ask me ? I would have
said no, but they could have asked !
1065
00:58:07,687 --> 00:58:11,314
I know it's my fault because
I never felt it was the right man.
1066
00:58:11,689 --> 00:58:14,761
Never. But what does it mean,
the right man, the love of your life ?
1067
00:58:15,068 --> 00:58:18,265
The concept is absurd. We can only be
complete with another person.
1068
00:58:18,613 --> 00:58:20,887
- It's evil, right ?
- Can I talk ?
1069
00:58:21,157 --> 00:58:24,433
I guess I've been heartbroken
too many times and then I recovered.
1070
00:58:24,743 --> 00:58:27,258
So now, you know, from the starts,
I make no effort.
1071
00:58:27,539 --> 00:58:30,212
- I know it's not gonna work out.
- You can't do that.
1072
00:58:30,542 --> 00:58:32,339
You can't live trying to avoid pain...
1073
00:58:32,627 --> 00:58:34,345
... at the expense...
- Those are words.
1074
00:58:34,588 --> 00:58:35,987
I've gotta get away from you.
1075
00:58:36,256 --> 00:58:38,293
- Stop the car, I wanna get out.
- No, don't...
1076
00:58:38,593 --> 00:58:40,390
- Keep talking.
- It's being around you.
1077
00:58:40,636 --> 00:58:42,910
Don't touch me, you know.
I want to get on a cab.
1078
00:58:45,724 --> 00:58:48,033
No, don't. No, no, keep going.
1079
00:58:48,310 --> 00:58:51,747
Listen, I'm just so happy...
Thank you, just keep going.
1080
00:58:52,064 --> 00:58:53,702
All right.
1081
00:58:55,107 --> 00:58:58,702
Look, I'm just so happy,
all right, to be with you.
1082
00:58:59,028 --> 00:59:02,260
I am. I'm so glad you didn't
forget about me, okay ?
1083
00:59:02,574 --> 00:59:05,168
No, I didn't.
And it pisses me off, okay ?
1084
00:59:05,493 --> 00:59:09,008
You come here to Paris,
all romantic, and married.
1085
00:59:09,330 --> 00:59:10,729
Okay ? Screw you.
1086
00:59:11,625 --> 00:59:13,900
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not trying to get you.
1087
00:59:14,169 --> 00:59:16,524
I mean, all I need is a married man.
1088
00:59:17,255 --> 00:59:20,452
There's been so much water under
the bridge, it's not even about you.
1089
00:59:20,759 --> 00:59:23,115
It's about that moment in time
that's forever gone.
1090
00:59:23,429 --> 00:59:26,227
You say that, but you didn't
even remember having sex, so...
1091
00:59:26,516 --> 00:59:29,268
Of course I remembered.
1092
00:59:30,519 --> 00:59:32,828
- You did ?
- Yes.
1093
00:59:33,105 --> 00:59:36,337
- Women pretend things like that.
- They do ?
1094
00:59:36,692 --> 00:59:40,478
What was I supposed to say ?
That I remember the wine in the park...
1095
00:59:40,820 --> 00:59:44,176
... and us looking up at the stars fading
away as the sun came up ?
1096
00:59:44,491 --> 00:59:47,722
We had sex twice, you idiot !
1097
00:59:49,246 --> 00:59:52,874
All right, you know what,
I'm just happy to see you.
1098
00:59:53,249 --> 00:59:56,526
Even if you've become an angry,
manic-depressive activist...
1099
00:59:56,837 --> 01:00:00,193
... I still like you,
I still enjoy being around you.
1100
01:00:01,007 --> 01:00:05,205
And I feel the same. I'm sorry.
I don't know what happened, I just...
1101
01:00:05,554 --> 01:00:07,910
- I had to let it all out.
- Don't worry about it.
1102
01:00:08,182 --> 01:00:10,696
I'm so miserable in my love life,
in my relationship.
1103
01:00:10,977 --> 01:00:14,013
I always act as...
Like, you know, I'm detached.
1104
01:00:14,312 --> 01:00:17,349
But I'm dying inside.
I'm dying because I'm so numb.
1105
01:00:17,649 --> 01:00:21,245
I don't feel pain or excitement,
I'm not even bitter, I'm just...
1106
01:00:21,571 --> 01:00:24,129
You think you're the one
dying inside ?
1107
01:00:24,405 --> 01:00:28,444
My life is 24/7 bad.
1108
01:00:28,784 --> 01:00:30,059
- I'm sorry.
- No, no.
1109
01:00:30,287 --> 01:00:33,085
I mean, the only happiness I get
is when I'm out with my son.
1110
01:00:33,373 --> 01:00:34,964
I've been to marriage counseling...
1111
01:00:35,207 --> 01:00:37,721
... I've done things I never thought
I would have to do.
1112
01:00:38,002 --> 01:00:40,836
I've lit candles,
bought self-help books, lingerie.
1113
01:00:41,131 --> 01:00:43,406
- Did the candles help ?
- Hell, no.
1114
01:00:43,675 --> 01:00:46,064
I don't love her the way
she needs to be loved...
1115
01:00:46,344 --> 01:00:50,622
... and I don't even see a future for us,
but then I look at my little boy...
1116
01:00:50,974 --> 01:00:54,206
... sitting across from me,
and I think I'd suffer any torture...
1117
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:56,795
... to be with him for
all the minutes of his life.
1118
01:00:57,064 --> 01:00:58,860
I don't want to miss out on one.
1119
01:00:59,107 --> 01:01:03,260
But then, there's no joy or laughter
in my home, you know ?
1120
01:01:03,613 --> 01:01:07,162
- I don't want him growing up in that.
- No laughter ? That's terrible.
1121
01:01:07,492 --> 01:01:09,321
My parents have been
together 35 years...
1122
01:01:09,575 --> 01:01:11,805
... and even when they fight
they end up laughing.
1123
01:01:12,077 --> 01:01:15,707
I don't want to be one of those people
who are getting divorced at 52...
1124
01:01:16,041 --> 01:01:20,272
... and falling down into tears, admitting
they never really loved their spouse...
1125
01:01:20,628 --> 01:01:25,464
... and they feel their life has been
sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.
1126
01:01:25,884 --> 01:01:29,320
You know, I want a great life.
I want her to have a great life...
1127
01:01:29,679 --> 01:01:31,749
... she deserves that.
1128
01:01:32,057 --> 01:01:35,254
But we're just living in the pretense
of a marriage, responsibility...
1129
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:39,395
... you know, all these ideas
of how people are supposed to live.
1130
01:01:41,275 --> 01:01:44,983
But then I... I have these dreams...
1131
01:01:46,655 --> 01:01:47,975
What dreams ?
1132
01:01:48,199 --> 01:01:51,555
I have these dreams,
you know, that...
1133
01:01:52,161 --> 01:01:54,070
... I'm standing on a platform...
1134
01:01:55,454 --> 01:01:58,446
... and you keep going by on a train...
1135
01:01:58,750 --> 01:02:02,982
... and you go by, and you go by,
and you go by, you go by.
1136
01:02:03,338 --> 01:02:05,134
And I wake up with
the fucking sweats.
1137
01:02:05,381 --> 01:02:07,576
And then I have this other dream...
1138
01:02:07,883 --> 01:02:11,559
... where you're pregnant in bed
beside me naked...
1139
01:02:11,930 --> 01:02:15,559
... and I want so badly to touch you, but
you tell me not to and you look away.
1140
01:02:15,892 --> 01:02:20,204
And I... And I touch you anyway...
1141
01:02:20,564 --> 01:02:24,843
... right on your ankle, and your skin is
so soft that I wake up in sobs, all right ?
1142
01:02:25,778 --> 01:02:29,087
My wife is there looking at me,
and I feel I'm a million miles from her.
1143
01:02:29,406 --> 01:02:33,286
And I know that there's
something wrong, that I...
1144
01:02:33,619 --> 01:02:35,530
God, that I can't keep living like this...
1145
01:02:35,788 --> 01:02:38,220
... that there's gotta be more to love
than commitment.
1146
01:02:38,539 --> 01:02:41,212
But then I think that
I might have given up...
1147
01:02:41,500 --> 01:02:43,331
... on the whole idea of romantic love.
1148
01:02:43,587 --> 01:02:46,738
That I might have put it
to bed that...
1149
01:02:47,048 --> 01:02:49,686
That day when you weren't there.
1150
01:02:49,967 --> 01:02:52,606
You know, I think I might
have done that.
1151
01:02:53,971 --> 01:02:56,088
Why are you telling me all this ?
1152
01:02:57,058 --> 01:03:01,097
I'm sorry. I don't know.
I'm... I should...
1153
01:03:02,439 --> 01:03:04,316
I shouldn't have.
1154
01:03:04,566 --> 01:03:06,080
You know, it's so weird.
1155
01:03:06,319 --> 01:03:10,198
People think they are the only one
going through tough times.
1156
01:03:10,573 --> 01:03:14,690
I mean, when I read the article,
I thought your life was perfect.
1157
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:18,915
A wife, a kid, published author.
1158
01:03:19,707 --> 01:03:22,936
But your personal life
is more of a mess than mine.
1159
01:03:23,250 --> 01:03:25,480
I'm sorry.
1160
01:03:25,753 --> 01:03:28,746
Well, I'm glad it's good for something.
1161
01:03:31,593 --> 01:03:34,709
- This is where you live ?
- Yeah.
1162
01:03:35,763 --> 01:03:39,757
So you're just relieved that I'm
in even more deep shit than you are ?
1163
01:03:40,102 --> 01:03:41,899
Yes, you've made me feel better.
1164
01:03:42,145 --> 01:03:44,215
Oh, good, I'm glad.
1165
01:03:44,481 --> 01:03:46,836
No, I really wish you the best.
1166
01:03:47,109 --> 01:03:50,625
It's not because I'm incapable of having
a good relationship or a family...
1167
01:03:50,947 --> 01:03:52,983
... that I wish everyone to be
doomed like me.
1168
01:03:53,241 --> 01:03:55,516
I'm sure you'd make... Be
a great mom someday.
1169
01:03:55,785 --> 01:03:57,217
- Really ? You think so ?
- Yeah...
1170
01:03:57,452 --> 01:04:00,444
... a few antidepressants, you know,
you'll do great.
1171
01:04:01,373 --> 01:04:04,093
- Okay, say stop.
- Stop.
1172
01:04:04,669 --> 01:04:07,263
- Okay.
- You ready ? Okay.
1173
01:04:17,514 --> 01:04:21,552
- So I want to try something.
- What ?
1174
01:04:24,186 --> 01:04:28,339
I want to see if you stay together
or if you dissolve into molecules.
1175
01:04:29,568 --> 01:04:31,445
How am I doing ?
1176
01:04:31,695 --> 01:04:33,526
Still here.
1177
01:04:33,780 --> 01:04:35,851
Good. I like being here.
1178
01:04:39,829 --> 01:04:41,341
Is this your apartment ?
1179
01:04:41,580 --> 01:04:43,218
No, I live down there.
1180
01:04:43,457 --> 01:04:45,607
- Down there ?
- Yeah.
1181
01:04:45,876 --> 01:04:48,266
Monsieur, I'm gonna walk her
to her door.
1182
01:04:57,428 --> 01:04:58,703
This is incredible.
1183
01:04:58,930 --> 01:05:01,524
- This is where you live ?
- Yeah.
1184
01:05:01,808 --> 01:05:04,879
- How long have you been here ?
- Four years.
1185
01:05:06,562 --> 01:05:08,632
- So tell me...
- What ?
1186
01:05:08,898 --> 01:05:10,491
Is it all true about your dreams...
1187
01:05:10,734 --> 01:05:13,373
... or did you say that to hopefully
get in my pants ?
1188
01:05:13,653 --> 01:05:15,166
I said that to get in your pants.
1189
01:05:15,405 --> 01:05:17,794
- I use that all the time.
- Oh, okay. Does it work ?
1190
01:05:18,116 --> 01:05:20,870
You know. Sometimes.
1191
01:05:22,163 --> 01:05:25,519
Here's my kitty. Oh, so cute.
Look at him.
1192
01:05:25,832 --> 01:05:27,584
You know what I love
about this cat ?
1193
01:05:27,834 --> 01:05:30,029
Every morning I bring him
to the courtyard...
1194
01:05:30,337 --> 01:05:34,854
... and every single morning he looks
at everything like it was the first time.
1195
01:05:35,218 --> 01:05:39,129
Every corner, every tree, every plant.
1196
01:05:39,470 --> 01:05:41,825
Smells everything
with his little cute nose.
1197
01:05:42,098 --> 01:05:46,012
Oh, I love my kitty. I love my kitty.
1198
01:05:47,437 --> 01:05:49,233
- What's his name ?
- Che.
1199
01:05:49,980 --> 01:05:51,777
Che ?
1200
01:05:53,526 --> 01:05:55,836
- What ?
- Commie.
1201
01:05:57,405 --> 01:06:00,283
No, "che" in Argentina means "hey. "
1202
01:06:00,575 --> 01:06:02,884
- Okay.
- Yes.
1203
01:06:03,161 --> 01:06:06,757
Oh, baby. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
1204
01:06:10,253 --> 01:06:13,927
We're having a little party.
It's so much fun.
1205
01:06:24,265 --> 01:06:26,017
- So...
- So.
1206
01:06:42,284 --> 01:06:46,562
You know what ? I was thinking,
would you play me one of your songs ?
1207
01:06:46,913 --> 01:06:48,983
- You're gonna miss your flight.
- I won't.
1208
01:06:49,249 --> 01:06:52,048
I'm gonna be in the airport for
over an hour, reading...
1209
01:06:52,336 --> 01:06:55,134
... wishing you'd played me
one of your songs.
1210
01:06:55,464 --> 01:06:57,580
One song ? Okay, but quickly.
1211
01:06:57,841 --> 01:06:59,559
Okay.
1212
01:07:04,974 --> 01:07:08,044
God, I love these old staircases.
1213
01:07:46,474 --> 01:07:48,669
- Hold this.
- What, for me ?
1214
01:07:48,935 --> 01:07:50,891
Hey there, buddy.
1215
01:07:52,061 --> 01:07:54,052
Che.
1216
01:08:05,616 --> 01:08:09,246
- Would you like some tea ?
- Yeah, sure.
1217
01:08:09,913 --> 01:08:11,471
Wow.
1218
01:08:12,541 --> 01:08:15,897
- Is chamomile okay ?
- Yeah. Great.
1219
01:08:16,211 --> 01:08:18,361
- Merci.
- Messy ?
1220
01:08:18,630 --> 01:08:22,226
- You think my apartment is messy ?
- No, no. Merci.
1221
01:08:22,552 --> 01:08:25,941
- Merci beaucoup.
- Ah, merci.
1222
01:08:26,263 --> 01:08:29,858
I meant to tell you,
your French has improved a lot.
1223
01:08:30,183 --> 01:08:31,458
- Really ?
- Yeah.
1224
01:08:31,686 --> 01:08:34,154
Yeah, you've really
mastered the language.
1225
01:08:35,064 --> 01:08:38,054
All right, all right, what song
are you gonna play me ?
1226
01:08:40,401 --> 01:08:43,200
No, I can't. It's too embarrassing.
It's been...
1227
01:08:43,488 --> 01:08:47,037
Whoa. No way. No way. I came up here,
you cannot crap out on me now.
1228
01:08:47,366 --> 01:08:49,322
One song. Anything will be great.
1229
01:08:49,618 --> 01:08:51,336
But listen, you're gonna laugh at me.
1230
01:08:51,579 --> 01:08:53,013
- You think so ?
- Yes.
1231
01:08:53,290 --> 01:08:55,201
I doubt it.
1232
01:08:58,044 --> 01:08:59,397
Okay.
1233
01:08:59,629 --> 01:09:01,904
What do you want to hear ? I have...
1234
01:09:02,174 --> 01:09:04,405
I have three songs in English.
1235
01:09:04,677 --> 01:09:05,996
One's about my cat...
1236
01:09:06,220 --> 01:09:10,132
... one's about my ex-boyfriend...
Well, ex-ex-boyfriend...
1237
01:09:10,474 --> 01:09:12,863
... and there's one about...
1238
01:09:13,351 --> 01:09:16,583
Well, it's just a little waltz.
1239
01:09:16,898 --> 01:09:18,934
A waltz ? Yeah.
1240
01:09:19,233 --> 01:09:21,267
- Play the waltz.
- Right.
1241
01:09:21,567 --> 01:09:23,876
I haven't played it in a while.
You sure ?
1242
01:09:27,324 --> 01:09:28,803
Okay.
1243
01:09:29,618 --> 01:09:31,813
All right, the waltz.
1244
01:09:44,132 --> 01:09:48,444
Let me sing you a waltz
1245
01:09:48,805 --> 01:09:53,356
Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts
1246
01:09:53,726 --> 01:09:58,082
Let me sing you a waltz
1247
01:09:58,438 --> 01:10:02,148
About this one-night stand
1248
01:10:03,402 --> 01:10:08,872
You were, for me, that night
1249
01:10:09,281 --> 01:10:14,959
Everything I always dreamt of in life
1250
01:10:15,372 --> 01:10:18,761
But now you're gone
1251
01:10:19,083 --> 01:10:23,157
You are far-gone
1252
01:10:24,339 --> 01:10:28,810
All the way to your island of rain
1253
01:10:29,177 --> 01:10:34,810
It was, for you, just a one-night thing
1254
01:10:35,226 --> 01:10:38,059
But you were much more to me
1255
01:10:38,396 --> 01:10:40,989
Just so you know
1256
01:10:42,149 --> 01:10:45,028
I don't care what they say
1257
01:10:45,319 --> 01:10:50,074
I know what you meant
For me that day
1258
01:10:50,448 --> 01:10:55,078
I just want another try
1259
01:10:55,453 --> 01:11:00,244
I just want another night
1260
01:11:01,709 --> 01:11:07,421
Even if it doesn't seem quite right
1261
01:11:07,883 --> 01:11:11,717
You meant, for me, much more
1262
01:11:12,053 --> 01:11:16,205
Than anyone I've met before
1263
01:11:16,558 --> 01:11:22,634
One single night with you, little Jesse
1264
01:11:23,065 --> 01:11:27,979
Is worth a thousand with anybody
1265
01:11:29,237 --> 01:11:32,469
I have no bitterness, my sweet
1266
01:11:32,950 --> 01:11:37,817
I'll never forget this one-night thing
1267
01:11:38,204 --> 01:11:44,075
Even tomorrow, in other arms
1268
01:11:44,503 --> 01:11:50,293
My heart will stay yours until I die
1269
01:11:54,721 --> 01:11:59,317
Let me sing you a waltz
1270
01:11:59,684 --> 01:12:04,520
Out of nowhere, out of my blues
1271
01:12:04,899 --> 01:12:09,653
Let me sing you a waltz
1272
01:12:10,028 --> 01:12:15,023
About this lovely one-night stand
1273
01:12:32,341 --> 01:12:35,811
- No, one more ! Please, please.
- No ! It was our deal.
1274
01:12:36,178 --> 01:12:38,534
One... One song. No, no, no.
1275
01:12:38,849 --> 01:12:41,283
You can have your tea and then...
1276
01:12:46,815 --> 01:12:49,091
- All right, let me ask you one question.
- What ?
1277
01:12:49,360 --> 01:12:52,511
Do you just plug that name in
for every guy that comes up here ?
1278
01:12:53,239 --> 01:12:54,512
Yes, of course.
1279
01:12:54,739 --> 01:12:58,652
What do you think, that I wrote
the song about you ? Are you nuts ?
1280
01:13:03,207 --> 01:13:05,480
Is this you ? Little cross-eyed Céline ?
1281
01:13:05,749 --> 01:13:08,217
- Yes. That's funny.
- Cute.
1282
01:13:09,712 --> 01:13:12,989
- Is that your grandmother ?
- Yeah.
1283
01:13:14,885 --> 01:13:16,875
Oh, wow.
1284
01:13:17,344 --> 01:13:20,302
- You want some honey ?
- Yeah, sure.
1285
01:14:10,107 --> 01:14:12,337
Did you ever see Nina Simone
in concert ?
1286
01:14:12,609 --> 01:14:15,043
No, I never did.
I can't believe she's gone.
1287
01:14:15,487 --> 01:14:16,920
I know, it's so sad.
1288
01:14:18,116 --> 01:14:19,515
Thanks.
1289
01:14:19,742 --> 01:14:21,653
It's hot.
1290
01:14:23,829 --> 01:14:26,548
I saw her twice in concert.
1291
01:14:27,290 --> 01:14:29,486
She was so great.
1292
01:14:29,794 --> 01:14:32,672
That's one of my favorite songs of hers.
1293
01:14:48,644 --> 01:14:49,918
She was so great.
1294
01:14:51,898 --> 01:14:54,093
She was so funny in concert too.
1295
01:14:54,359 --> 01:14:58,352
She would... She would be
right in the middle of a song and then...
1296
01:14:58,697 --> 01:15:00,494
... you know, stop...
1297
01:15:00,740 --> 01:15:04,654
... and walk from the piano all the way
to the edge of the stage.
1298
01:15:04,996 --> 01:15:07,226
Like, really slowly.
1299
01:15:10,292 --> 01:15:13,444
And she'd start talking to someone
in the audience.
1300
01:15:13,755 --> 01:15:16,986
"Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah.
1301
01:15:17,884 --> 01:15:20,032
I love you too. "
1302
01:15:20,551 --> 01:15:24,830
And then she'd walk back.
Take her time, no hurry, you know.
1303
01:15:25,182 --> 01:15:28,538
She had that big, cute ass.
1304
01:15:28,852 --> 01:15:30,330
She would move.
1305
01:15:32,104 --> 01:15:36,735
And then she would go back to the piano
and play some more, you know.
1306
01:15:38,445 --> 01:15:40,037
And then she would, I don't know...
1307
01:15:40,280 --> 01:15:42,669
... just start another song
in the middle of another.
1308
01:15:42,949 --> 01:15:46,578
You know, like,
stop again, and be like:
1309
01:15:46,912 --> 01:15:50,747
"You over there,
can you move that fan.
1310
01:15:51,834 --> 01:15:53,869
You're cute.
1311
01:16:14,980 --> 01:16:16,891
Oh, yeah. "
1312
01:16:20,529 --> 01:16:24,647
Baby, you are gonna miss that plane.
1313
01:16:26,118 --> 01:16:27,949
I know.