[MAX SINGING ALONG] ♪ You must be an angel ♪
He's my first boyfriend.
He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness.
They're like, "Oh, I hope they take us back."
God, what I wouldn't give to see their stupid faces.
I just don't understand what I did to deserve this.
I know. It's just, why is she treating me this way?
Relax. Just relax.
- Yeah. - Because women act on emotion
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
I'll just let you... I'll leave you...
["LOVERGIRL" PLAYING]
Okay, look, I should just warn you,
if he's with a girl or doing something gross,
just get out of there right away before you're scarred for life.
- Max... - No, I'm just saying, I'm serious.
[GIRL WHIMPERING]
[BILLY] Just stay very still.
[GIRL WHIMPERING]
[GIRL GASPING]
[GIRL SCREAMING]
[GIRL] Billy!
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
- [LOUD MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYING] - Yes! [GROANS]
- What are you doing? - Yeah, Will, can you turn down the music?
can you please turn down the music?
That is not music.
free of girls!
Will, come on.
Or are you going to come to their rescue
and become the heroes you were always meant to be?
Can I at least take a shower first?
- Hello? - Just watch.
Yeah, it fell in the night. It lost its magnetism.
at my house the day before.
- Wow. - And I thought, "Okay, that's weird."
Right? Why are all these magnets suddenly losing their magnetism?
And he built this magnetic field using an AC transformer
I just want to get this exactly right, okay?
because you had to go to Scott Clarke's house.
Oh, come on, Hop, you're not even listening to me.
Scott was able to demagnetize some of the magnets, and he thinks...
He thinks that a large-scale magnetic field could be built
using some sort of machine or... or experimental technology.
It can't just be a coincidence, Hopper.
Because some magnets fell off your fridge.
I'm a little busy right now, but maybe we can meet up there,
You know, of course, unless something comes up
so that you can push me away.
Because God forbid
any of us
Because that...
I believe you saw some super weird stuff, totally,
So maybe it was just like that. Maybe Billy just...
When Billy is alone with a girl,
I'm just gonna lend you my mom's Cosmo.
[MAX] Ice. It's just ice.
Probably for his muscles or something. He works out like a maniac.
And it's not just fertilizer.
And that's just from one day of calling around. I mean...
So, little rodents have gone cuckoo in their furry little minds
The Mysterious Case of the Missing Fertilizer,
Next time a call comes in,
do what you were hired for,
and let us know, yeah?
- [MAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN ON HEADPHONES] - Excuse me.
I'd like to try the peanut butter chocolate swirl, please.
Because you're abusing our company policy.
Sorry, he can't help you. He's busy.
Busy with what?
[DUSTIN] You see anything?
Evil Russians.
Yeah, exactly. I don't know what an evil Russian looks like.
If you're not gonna focus, just gimme the binoculars.
Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards?
I don't get why you're looking at girls.
- Seriously, if you say Robin again... - Robin.
For your information, she's still in school. And she's weird.
She's a weirdo. And she's hyper.
how exactly did you score that beautiful girlfriend?
Because that's how this works, Henderson.
Sir Mike, your action.
Sir Lucas, the zombie horde roars!
Maybe we should just call them.
I'll use my torch to set fire to the chambers, sacrificing ourselves,
killing the jujus, and saving the Khuisar.
- You guys win. - [MUSIC STOPS]
- Congratulations. - Will, I was just messing around.
- How much longer is the campaign? - Just forget it, Mike.
We'll just call the girls afterwards.
I said forget it, Mike, okay?
- Come on, Will. - Move!
[MIKE] Will, come on.
We're just not in the mood right now.
Really? Where's Dustin right now?
And obviously he doesn't either and I don't blame him.
So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?
It's not my fault you don't like girls.
That we were never gonna get girlfriends?
We were just gonna sit in my basement all day
Will, come on!
Excuse me.
You girls want a reward or somethin'?
We're just...
[GIRL] No way!
We come in peace.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
- Target acquired. - Where?
[BOTH] Evil Russian.
[DUSTIN] Slow down.
I just have one question for you.
Come on, ladies, show me what you got.
Slow now. Just isolate.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
You're not gonna believe who Dustin thought was a Russian.
You don't want it eatin' the tires off your car.
Come on!
He asked us to drop the story.
That's because he didn't believe us.
But it's just some stupid story.
It's stupid to get fired over.
No one's going to fire us.
Just...
Come on.
because it came rushing at me from behind this fence, and I...
- Yeah. - Because it's important to me.
He said he's fixing up your house to put on the market.
Please, can you just come outside and we'll talk?
Come on, man! We're sorry!
[MIKE] Something is coming,
- What is it? - What if it's the Demogorgon?
Oh, Jesus, we're so screwed if it's the Demogorgon.
It's not the Demogorgon.
- [MIKE] Will, your action! - [WILL] Fireball!
Direct hit! Will the Wise's fireball hits the thessalhydra!
[BOYS SINGING "GHOSTBUSTERS"]
- ♪ Who you gonna call? ♪ - ♪ Ghostbusters! ♪
Oh, she must not be home.
- [JONATHAN] Seriously? - [NANCY] Mrs. Driscoll?
[MONSTROUS CHITTERING]
[MONSTROUS CHOMPING]
- [STEVE] What do you think's in there? - [DUSTIN] Guns, bombs?
[DUSTIN] Whatever it is, they're armed to the teeth.
It's just more boxes.
- [DUSTIN] Duck! - [GASPING]
[IN RUSSIAN] Stay here.
Well, I think we found your Russians.
This is Hawkins Chief of Police! Come out with your hands up!
[LIGHT STRING MUSIC PLAYING]
- This is her house. - What?
Heather's house.
We tried to knock, but... maybe you didn't hear us over the storm.
Janet, Tom,
We just wanted to make sure everything was okay.
He said you guys didn't come in to work today, so we got worried.
But you're feeling just fine right now, aren't you, Heather?
[HEATHER] Do you girls want a cookie?
No, she's just not...
Well, I just don't like the idea of them
I told you to slow down on that wine, Janet.
Yes, I'm... I'm just...
I'm sorry. Um, if you'll excuse me,
I'm just gonna go upstairs and lie down for a bit.
Janet?
♪ ... half-time air was sweet perfume... ♪
Janet? Janet?
Janet!
[TOM] Janet! Call 911!
♪ So come on Jack be nimble ♪
♪ 'Cause fire is the Devil's only friend ♪
♪ The day the music died ♪