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Good morning, Greendale.
2
00:00:04,322 --> 00:00:06,153
As you know,
it is April Fools' Day.
3
00:00:06,837 --> 00:00:09,397
Just kidding. It's the day before April Fools.
See what I did there...
4
00:00:09,606 --> 00:00:10,573
Baba booey, baba booey,
baba booey
5
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You know what, Leonard?
Strike two.
6
00:00:15,779 --> 00:00:17,508
Anyway, just
reminding you to keep
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00:00:17,714 --> 00:00:20,239
any April Fools pranks
physically safe,
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00:00:20,451 --> 00:00:23,011
politically balanced
and racially accessible.
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00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:26,519
When in doubt, check the guidelines
in our college pranks literature.
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00:00:26,723 --> 00:00:30,090
Guidelines
for school-sanctioned pranks.
11
00:00:30,294 --> 00:00:31,784
Hmm. Reminds me
of my favorite college comedy.
12
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Oh, uh, which one?
13
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Exactly.
See, the dean doesn't get it.
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The point of a practical joke is
to shake up the system.
15
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For example,
who wants some of these?
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Cool, yeah.
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Looking for something?
Nice.
18
00:00:48,545 --> 00:00:51,810
Oh. They allow volunteers
for campus security during times
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of heightened shenanigans.
Oh.
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I wanna be security.
Ooh. Let's do it together.
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We can be partners.
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00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:59,155
That's a buddy cop movie
I would watch. But I wonder,
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Which of you would be by the book?
Which of you would be the badass?
24
00:01:01,959 --> 00:01:04,860
Oh, Abed, you're so silly.
I would be the badass.
25
00:01:06,296 --> 00:01:08,025
Greetings, mortals.
26
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Morning. Snake in a can?
27
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Uh... No, thanks. I'm fasting.
28
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My Buddhist church is having
its annual ascension ceremony,
29
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and I will be becoming
a level-six laser lotus.
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I know. I was speechless too.
31
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Anyway, I have to detoxify
for the ceremony.
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I get all the nutrients I need
with saltwater and honey.
33
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It's better if it goes down
the wrong pipe.
34
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So, what happens in level six?
35
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Well, nobody in my hive
has ever seen a six,
36
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but, uh, from what I hear,
I'll have immunity to germs,
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a heightened psychic ability
and improved night vision.
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Any bonuses to your combat score?
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I assume I'll fight better
if I can see more, heh, dumb-ass.
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00:01:54,311 --> 00:01:57,041
Hey, Pierce, I just remembered.
Right before you got here,
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00:01:57,247 --> 00:02:00,808
some guy was delivering
level-six ceremonial robes?
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Abed, how fast can
you run to the Theater Department?
43
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Thirty-seven seconds.
Don't come back
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without something ridiculous. Go.
45
00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:19,502
Guys, you realize you're exploiting
the naivetأ© of a man
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who is being brainwashed
by a cult.
47
00:02:22,439 --> 00:02:24,532
Well, it sounds a lot less fun
when you say it.
48
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Everything does. She's a buzz kill.
49
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I'm not a buzz kill.
Hmm.
50
00:02:29,213 --> 00:02:30,942
Yeah, that doesn't really describe it.
51
00:02:31,148 --> 00:02:32,809
You're more of a fun-vampire,
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because you don't suck blood,
you just suck.
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He wasn't there.
54
00:02:37,988 --> 00:02:39,683
Oh, I think Abed found him.
55
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Hey, give me.
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It's amazing. Wow.
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It is absolutely gorgeous.
How do I look?
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May I?
Yeah.
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Magical.
Great. Heh.
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Of course, the only one
who doesn't like this is Britta.
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You ever get tired of being
a buzz kill?
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This is gonna be exciting, ladies.
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I hereby deputize you
as campus security for 48 hours.
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Your windbreakers.
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Your whistles.
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00:03:29,506 --> 00:03:31,997
Oh. Oh. Okay. Uh...
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00:03:34,311 --> 00:03:37,337
Okay. Now I only have
the one pepper spray.
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It's mine. But I'll just get my groceries
in a better neighborhood this week.
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I'll carry it.
Oh.
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00:03:42,919 --> 00:03:45,410
Between the two of us,
I'm sort of the badass.
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00:03:45,622 --> 00:03:47,283
You are? Uh...
H-how do you figure?
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I don't know, Shirley.
How did you figure I wasn't?
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I guess I didn't figure because I was
too busy being the obvious badass.
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Sounds like we're both
pretty convinced.
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I guess we'll find out
once we're on the job.
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Hmm. I guess we will.
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00:03:59,436 --> 00:04:00,664
I'm sorry, what is going on here?
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00:04:00,871 --> 00:04:01,963
A twist on a classic formula.
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00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:05,439
Normally, with buddy cops, one's a
straight-laced stickler, the other's a renegade.
80
00:04:05,642 --> 00:04:08,008
But these two have equal claim
to both roles.
81
00:04:08,211 --> 00:04:09,439
And why are you here?
82
00:04:09,646 --> 00:04:11,238
Short answer?
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My cable went out.
84
00:04:15,485 --> 00:04:17,578
Hey, can I run something by you?
85
00:04:17,788 --> 00:04:20,018
I was thinking of pulling
a little prank tonight.
86
00:04:20,223 --> 00:04:22,817
All right. April Fools prank.
87
00:04:23,026 --> 00:04:26,018
So you know how they have
live frogs in the anatomy lab?
88
00:04:26,229 --> 00:04:28,390
Oh, yeah.
So I was gonna sneak in there,
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00:04:28,598 --> 00:04:32,500
get a frog, and then tomorrow when
Seأ±or Chang's class is coming in,
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00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:35,831
there will be a frog on his desk
wearing...
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00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:39,673
Tada.
92
00:04:42,312 --> 00:04:44,075
Oh, you're done.
93
00:04:44,381 --> 00:04:45,712
Did you read the hat?
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00:04:45,916 --> 00:04:47,247
"Seأ±or Chang."
Yeah.
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00:04:48,385 --> 00:04:50,319
Oh, you don't get it.
I guess I don't.
96
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,010
The frog is Chang.
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00:04:52,923 --> 00:04:55,517
Okay, I did get it. It's funny.
I know it's funny.
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Oh, wait, I forgot.
It's not your kind of joke.
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00:04:58,028 --> 00:04:59,518
It's not at anyone's expense.
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00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,595
Britta, why waste your time
envying my gift for levity?
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00:05:01,798 --> 00:05:04,767
When there's so much you could be doing
with your natural talent for severity.
102
00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:08,165
You know what? My prank is
gonna cause a sea of laughter,
103
00:05:08,372 --> 00:05:10,340
and I'm gonna watch you
drown in it.
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Thattagirl.
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Seven.
That's right.
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Jeff, I can read minds.
No way.
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What color am I thinking of?
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Pink.
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What the hey?
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Must be the robe.
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00:05:30,594 --> 00:05:32,357
Hey, Cookie Crisp.
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Cookie Crisp.
No.
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Is he talking to me?
No, no.
114
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Hey, Pierce, that guy came back
that brought your robes
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and said he forgot to deliver this.
116
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What is it?
He said it focuses your powers?
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Is that a cookie?
Oh!
118
00:05:57,587 --> 00:05:59,054
Maybe it's a piece of meteor.
119
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Buddha arrived on a meteor.
120
00:06:01,591 --> 00:06:02,956
When's the last time he ate?
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I am the coolest guy in the world.
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*نسخه هارد ساب شده توسط موویوبات*
موویوبات کامل ترین و پیشرفته ترین رسانه دانلود فیلم و سریال
movieobot.com
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00:06:24,186 --> 00:06:27,986
Hello, Mr. Frog.
Can I just borrow you for a second?
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00:06:32,094 --> 00:06:34,790
I'm Seأ±or Chang.
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00:06:35,431 --> 00:06:37,331
Now tell me that's not funny.
126
00:06:37,633 --> 00:06:40,227
Aah! Oh! Oh, no. Wait.
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00:06:40,769 --> 00:06:43,237
Here, froggy, froggy, froggy.
128
00:06:43,439 --> 00:06:46,203
Here frog, frog, froggy.
129
00:06:46,408 --> 00:06:47,466
Mr. Frog?
130
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Real quiet.
131
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Oh, no. Uhn!
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00:07:01,757 --> 00:07:02,746
Yaah!
133
00:07:04,727 --> 00:07:05,716
Oh.
134
00:07:05,928 --> 00:07:09,091
Oh, my God! Aah!
135
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:11,061
Call the ambulance!
136
00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:13,599
It's so horrible.
137
00:07:14,036 --> 00:07:15,298
It's a dead body.
138
00:07:19,342 --> 00:07:22,072
And what makes it worse is
this was a brand new sign, so...
139
00:07:22,278 --> 00:07:24,838
I just don't want this to tarnish
our school's reputation.
140
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Don't worry. Your school's
reputation is way worse than this.
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Oh, here's our campus security.
142
00:07:30,386 --> 00:07:33,116
Just stop right there.
Oh, ladies, don't pull up on the...
143
00:07:34,524 --> 00:07:35,923
Okay.
144
00:07:37,026 --> 00:07:39,085
Oh, Annie.
Morning, boys.
145
00:07:39,495 --> 00:07:40,689
I'm Annie Edison.
146
00:07:40,897 --> 00:07:43,627
But people call me Psycho because I had
a nervous breakdown in high school.
147
00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:46,131
My partner
is a Christian housewife.
148
00:07:46,336 --> 00:07:49,601
Can we help you?
Actually, can we not help you?
149
00:07:49,806 --> 00:07:51,330
I tend to play by my own rules.
150
00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:53,532
She loves rules. I only have one.
151
00:07:54,711 --> 00:07:56,702
Stay out of my way.
152
00:07:58,514 --> 00:08:01,005
Stay out of mine more.
153
00:08:01,217 --> 00:08:03,344
You know what?
This is misdemeanor vandalism.
154
00:08:03,553 --> 00:08:05,521
You ladies can take care of it
yourselves.
155
00:08:08,224 --> 00:08:09,213
Wait.
156
00:08:09,425 --> 00:08:11,655
Wait, wait. What?
Call us when you find a perp.
157
00:08:11,861 --> 00:08:14,352
Yeah, heh, we'll be waiting.
Oh...
158
00:08:14,564 --> 00:08:15,553
You go.
Uh, I'm about to.
159
00:08:15,765 --> 00:08:17,027
Now look what you have done.
160
00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:18,791
Tell them they got 24 hours
to solve the case.
161
00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:21,527
They do. You have 24 hours
to solve it or else.
162
00:08:21,738 --> 00:08:23,296
Figure it out.
163
00:08:25,508 --> 00:08:26,839
That's the poster.
164
00:08:27,043 --> 00:08:30,706
So this is the part of my job
that I enjoy the least.
165
00:08:30,913 --> 00:08:33,108
The part where I inform you
that last night,
166
00:08:33,316 --> 00:08:37,047
someone murdered
a partially clothed animal
167
00:08:37,253 --> 00:08:40,518
and threw a human corpse
out a window.
168
00:08:40,723 --> 00:08:42,554
And you can thank the person
that did it,
169
00:08:42,759 --> 00:08:46,490
a person that may be in this room,
for the fact that from now on,
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00:08:46,696 --> 00:08:49,358
April Fools' Day is banished,
okay?
171
00:08:49,565 --> 00:08:55,003
At Greendale, April 1 st is officially
March 32nd forever.
172
00:08:55,371 --> 00:08:56,861
How do you know it was one of us?
173
00:08:57,073 --> 00:09:00,509
Well, if I may answer a question
with a question,
174
00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:03,076
why are you dressed
like a wizard?
175
00:09:07,817 --> 00:09:09,216
Okay, is he having a stroke?
176
00:09:09,619 --> 00:09:11,348
I'll tell you how I know.
177
00:09:11,554 --> 00:09:17,515
Security Officers Bennett and Edison
found this at the scene. Hmm?
178
00:09:17,727 --> 00:09:19,388
The little hat says "Chang" on it.
179
00:09:20,029 --> 00:09:23,362
And we ruled out your teacher because
he has a crippling fear of frogs.
180
00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:26,132
I told you that in confidence.
181
00:09:26,335 --> 00:09:29,600
How about whoever did this
just fesses up?
182
00:09:35,211 --> 00:09:38,408
All right, that wasn't just a cadaver
that was thrown out that window.
183
00:09:38,614 --> 00:09:42,106
It was a person
with family and friends.
184
00:09:42,318 --> 00:09:45,515
And for every day
that nobody confesses,
185
00:09:45,721 --> 00:09:48,485
this class will be meeting
one of them. Hmm?
186
00:09:48,691 --> 00:09:49,680
Glenda?
187
00:09:49,892 --> 00:09:50,950
Oh, I apologize.
188
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:52,627
Can you come on in here. Hmm?
Yes.
189
00:09:52,829 --> 00:09:54,729
And tell us about your son.
190
00:09:55,164 --> 00:09:56,426
Oh, yeah.
191
00:09:56,632 --> 00:10:00,124
Hello, everyone.
Hello.
192
00:10:01,204 --> 00:10:02,671
There.
193
00:10:03,206 --> 00:10:05,674
Harry was a wonderful man.
194
00:10:06,209 --> 00:10:07,972
He kept a dream journal.
195
00:10:08,711 --> 00:10:10,178
Page one.
196
00:10:10,379 --> 00:10:14,577
"I had that dream again
where I'm in a forest
197
00:10:15,251 --> 00:10:18,015
but the trees are pencils."
198
00:10:20,456 --> 00:10:21,923
Hey.
199
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,855
Impressive. And hilarious.
Hmm.
200
00:10:25,061 --> 00:10:27,621
You gonna fess up, weirdo?
Look, it wasn't me.
201
00:10:29,699 --> 00:10:33,135
Even if it was,
this was an accident.
202
00:10:33,336 --> 00:10:34,428
I knew it. Nicely done.
203
00:10:35,104 --> 00:10:39,006
If I come forward, it's gonna play into
the "Britta's a buzz kill" mythology.
204
00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:40,675
Well, the toe tag fits, Britta.
205
00:10:40,877 --> 00:10:44,608
I mean, you single-handedly killed
an entire school's buzz,
206
00:10:44,814 --> 00:10:46,975
not to mention a frog.
According to Glenda,
207
00:10:47,183 --> 00:10:49,208
cadaver Harry had
13 nieces and nephews
208
00:10:49,418 --> 00:10:50,908
that I'm not interested in meeting.
209
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,054
So you better think
about coming clean,
210
00:10:53,256 --> 00:10:55,247
or I'm just gonna tell everybody
you did it.
211
00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:02,763
Star-Burns doesn't do very much.
212
00:11:02,965 --> 00:11:05,798
I guess fascinating people don't resort
to growing shapes on their faces.
213
00:11:06,002 --> 00:11:07,993
He makes one false move,
and I'm gonna go Shirley on him.
214
00:11:08,204 --> 00:11:10,672
That's what my high school friends
called crazy.
215
00:11:10,873 --> 00:11:13,865
Yeah? You gonna go Shirlier than
I did when I got addicted to pills?
216
00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:16,044
Why are you so concerned
with being badass?
217
00:11:16,245 --> 00:11:18,611
Maybe I'm tired of everyone
thinking of me as a little girl.
218
00:11:18,814 --> 00:11:20,406
Maybe I wanna be in charge
of how I'm defined.
219
00:11:20,616 --> 00:11:22,015
Well, how do you think I feel?
220
00:11:22,218 --> 00:11:24,083
You have two kids,
and they stick you in the margins.
221
00:11:24,287 --> 00:11:25,982
I'm not done yet.
I still got moves.
222
00:11:26,189 --> 00:11:27,417
I haven't even started yet.
223
00:11:27,623 --> 00:11:29,750
I've got moves
I haven't even seen before.
224
00:11:33,029 --> 00:11:34,894
Blocked call.
Mm.
225
00:11:35,565 --> 00:11:36,554
Edison.
226
00:11:36,766 --> 00:11:38,028
The man you're looking for
227
00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:39,997
is Jeff Winger.
228
00:11:40,203 --> 00:11:42,000
Jeff Winger.
Who is this?
229
00:11:44,106 --> 00:11:47,007
I didn't recognize the voice.
They say Jeff Winger's our man.
230
00:11:47,210 --> 00:11:50,077
Oh.
Drop them if you smoke them.
231
00:11:50,279 --> 00:11:51,678
Cut to action sequence.
Let's roll.
232
00:11:53,115 --> 00:11:54,605
Security's coming through.
233
00:11:57,453 --> 00:11:58,715
Mr. Winger.
234
00:11:58,921 --> 00:12:01,048
Cagney, Lacey.
What can I do you for?
235
00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:03,185
Just doing a routine search.
236
00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:04,620
What is this?
What do you have here?
237
00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:06,556
That's my chest.
Why don't you spread them? Huh?
238
00:12:06,762 --> 00:12:07,751
What are you packing here?
239
00:12:07,964 --> 00:12:09,226
Guys.
I can pat.
240
00:12:09,432 --> 00:12:11,730
I can do it too. So, uh,
what have you got in the bag?
241
00:12:12,235 --> 00:12:13,395
Yeah.
What the...?
242
00:12:14,103 --> 00:12:15,195
Hey.
243
00:12:15,404 --> 00:12:16,996
Let's see what we have here.
244
00:12:17,206 --> 00:12:20,004
Holy Mary, mother of pearl.
245
00:12:20,209 --> 00:12:21,369
What do we have here, huh?
246
00:12:21,577 --> 00:12:24,603
Looks like enough tiny items to
equip an amphibious mariachi band.
247
00:12:24,814 --> 00:12:27,578
Of frogs.
That is not my stuff.
248
00:12:27,783 --> 00:12:30,308
Britta. Britta planted that.
Sure she did.
249
00:12:30,519 --> 00:12:32,885
Tell that to what our equivalent
of a judge is.
250
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:36,348
Wait. What is...?
251
00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:37,821
He's getting away.
252
00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:41,489
Go, go. Drive.
253
00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:45,800
When you turn to yell at me...
254
00:12:46,002 --> 00:12:47,970
He's right there.
Okay, hold it...
255
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:50,263
What are these doing here?
He's getting away.
256
00:12:50,473 --> 00:12:52,998
Go after him on foot.
I'm going after him on foot.
257
00:12:53,209 --> 00:12:56,007
Cut him off on the other side.
I'm cutting him off on the other side.
258
00:12:58,114 --> 00:12:59,672
Stop or I'll shoot.
259
00:13:00,116 --> 00:13:01,947
I said, stop.
260
00:13:05,688 --> 00:13:10,591
Oh, God, no. Aah!
261
00:13:10,993 --> 00:13:14,360
Aah! It burns.
262
00:13:22,805 --> 00:13:26,002
Uh-huh. Oh, great, he got away.
Good job.
263
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:28,574
He got away because of your driving,
Grandma.
264
00:13:28,778 --> 00:13:30,939
Oh, I beg your pardon,
Hannah Montana.
265
00:13:31,147 --> 00:13:33,012
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you hard of hearing?
266
00:13:33,215 --> 00:13:34,944
You know what? This is why
you have hardly any friends.
267
00:13:35,151 --> 00:13:38,052
Looks like I have one less now.
Do I look like I'm crying?
268
00:13:38,254 --> 00:13:39,653
These are not tears.
269
00:13:39,855 --> 00:13:42,380
This is self-inflicted friendly fire,
okay?
270
00:13:42,591 --> 00:13:44,149
That's what happens to children.
271
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,225
You have no idea
what I've been through!
272
00:13:46,429 --> 00:13:48,021
You don't think I've
got the strength for this!
273
00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:50,221
Excuse me.
I have to go to the bathroom.
274
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:52,833
I'll give you the rest of these
chocolate-covered raisins if you save my seat.
275
00:13:55,104 --> 00:13:56,935
- To be alone out there.
276
00:13:57,139 --> 00:13:58,128
You are assuming...
277
00:13:59,775 --> 00:14:01,640
I don't want you to feel judged
by this,
278
00:14:01,844 --> 00:14:04,677
but your handling of this job
has disappointed me.
279
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,941
I mean, your high-speed pursuit
caused $ 78 worth of damages.
280
00:14:09,151 --> 00:14:11,847
And you didn't even get a statement
out of Mr. Winger?
281
00:14:12,054 --> 00:14:14,181
He got away.
He ran between two poles.
282
00:14:14,390 --> 00:14:16,722
Well, I see how that would be
frustrating but the fact is,
283
00:14:16,926 --> 00:14:19,394
Your ass is on the line.
My ass is on the line.
284
00:14:19,595 --> 00:14:20,857
You just got off the phone
285
00:14:21,063 --> 00:14:22,553
with the mayor.
I just got off the phone...
286
00:14:22,765 --> 00:14:24,699
What? The mayor? Stop doing that.
I'm trying to help.
287
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,834
You're not doing this right.
Well, maybe you should do it.
288
00:14:30,139 --> 00:14:32,903
I am sick and tired
of making excuses for you two.
289
00:14:33,109 --> 00:14:34,701
You're an embarrassment
to the department.
290
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:38,175
You're off the case and off the force.
Your badges, your windbreakers now.
291
00:14:39,115 --> 00:14:41,015
Now. I ain't got all day.
292
00:14:41,717 --> 00:14:43,344
Agitating my sciatica.
293
00:14:43,552 --> 00:14:45,611
I'm too old for this.
Now get out of my sight.
294
00:14:46,122 --> 00:14:47,749
Thought you were badasses, huh?
295
00:14:47,957 --> 00:14:49,720
Real badasses work together.
296
00:14:50,393 --> 00:14:51,417
Hmm.
297
00:14:51,627 --> 00:14:53,390
All I see is a housewife
and girl scout.
298
00:14:53,596 --> 00:14:55,029
Hey.
Abed.
299
00:14:55,231 --> 00:14:56,289
I said, get out.
300
00:14:57,867 --> 00:15:00,097
And don't even think about
getting near this case. Uh-uh.
301
00:15:02,171 --> 00:15:03,399
Pretty harsh.
302
00:15:03,606 --> 00:15:05,130
Don't worry,
that's what they needed.
303
00:15:08,077 --> 00:15:10,204
Well, that was embarrassing.
I know.
304
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:13,746
That African-American police chief
character Abed was playing was right.
305
00:15:13,949 --> 00:15:15,610
We should have worked as a team.
306
00:15:15,818 --> 00:15:18,548
I don't know about you,
I don't need a badge to finish this.
307
00:15:18,754 --> 00:15:20,619
I say we nail Winger to the wall.
308
00:15:20,823 --> 00:15:23,155
Together?
Together.
309
00:15:24,527 --> 00:15:26,119
How do you spell "testicles"?
310
00:15:26,629 --> 00:15:28,756
Nice frame job, Britta-dict Arnold.
311
00:15:28,964 --> 00:15:30,192
Oh, colonial burn.
312
00:15:30,399 --> 00:15:33,232
Come on, Jeff, where's that
trademark gift for levity?
313
00:15:33,636 --> 00:15:35,934
Well, well, well, look who we found.
314
00:15:36,138 --> 00:15:40,575
Yes, how foolish of me to hide in
my regularly scheduled study group.
315
00:15:40,776 --> 00:15:44,143
Jeff, ahem, let's just do this
the easy way. Confess.
316
00:15:44,346 --> 00:15:45,973
Britta's the one
who threw that body out the window.
317
00:15:46,182 --> 00:15:47,581
And I can prove it.
How?
318
00:15:47,783 --> 00:15:51,219
Britta was going to put a frog wearing
a sombrero on Chang's desk
319
00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:54,082
because that's the kind of thing
she thinks is funny.
320
00:15:54,290 --> 00:15:55,587
Don't you, Britta?
No.
321
00:15:55,791 --> 00:15:58,351
Then why is there a photo
on your Facebook page
322
00:15:58,561 --> 00:16:01,325
of a cat wearing a necktie?
323
00:16:01,530 --> 00:16:03,521
Pfft. This is my cat.
324
00:16:03,732 --> 00:16:05,927
And the tie makes him?
325
00:16:07,136 --> 00:16:08,467
Formal.
326
00:16:08,671 --> 00:16:12,232
This investigation
is going nowhere.
327
00:16:12,675 --> 00:16:14,142
You need a psychic.
328
00:16:14,343 --> 00:16:15,708
Perfect.
329
00:16:16,078 --> 00:16:18,478
This process may alarm you.
330
00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:25,177
Oh! Gay, gay, gay. So gay.
331
00:16:25,554 --> 00:16:29,957
Oh-oh. Dark nightclub. Aah, aah.
332
00:16:30,159 --> 00:16:31,990
Throbbing music.
333
00:16:32,862 --> 00:16:35,126
Men's room... Men's room stall.
334
00:16:36,398 --> 00:16:39,561
Penis. Two penises.
335
00:16:39,768 --> 00:16:42,236
Oh. So gay. He's so gay.
336
00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:44,969
Pierce.
What?
337
00:16:45,174 --> 00:16:47,734
Sit down. We'll take it from here.
Uhn.
338
00:16:48,277 --> 00:16:51,713
Jeff, where were you last night?
At a bar.
339
00:16:51,914 --> 00:16:53,643
Called it.
Who can confirm that?
340
00:16:53,849 --> 00:16:55,180
Your mama?
What?
341
00:16:55,384 --> 00:16:56,715
While I'm...
Oh!
342
00:16:57,119 --> 00:16:58,586
Oh!
343
00:16:58,787 --> 00:16:59,913
What the hell, Annie?
344
00:17:00,122 --> 00:17:03,182
Her name's not Annie, it's Psycho.
If I were you, I'd tell her what she wants to hear.
345
00:17:03,392 --> 00:17:05,826
That's right, because if I have
to hand you off to Shirley,
346
00:17:06,028 --> 00:17:08,223
you're gonna enter
a kitchen of pain.
347
00:17:08,430 --> 00:17:10,660
Uhn!
Guys, stop it.
348
00:17:10,866 --> 00:17:12,390
Stop it. I did it.
349
00:17:13,002 --> 00:17:14,629
I framed Jeff.
350
00:17:14,837 --> 00:17:16,429
I'm sorry, Jeff.
351
00:17:16,639 --> 00:17:21,076
But why?
Because I'm a buzz kill, that's why.
352
00:17:21,377 --> 00:17:23,174
Because that's who I am.
That's my role.
353
00:17:23,379 --> 00:17:26,542
You guys, you create fun,
and I destroy it.
354
00:17:26,749 --> 00:17:30,241
Of course a silly little joke ends
with a dead body on the lawn.
355
00:17:30,452 --> 00:17:32,682
I should have known that
but I wanted to do it anyway.
356
00:17:32,888 --> 00:17:35,356
I wanted to be like you.
I wanted to be funny.
357
00:17:35,558 --> 00:17:39,085
Knock, knock.
Who's there? Cancer.
358
00:17:39,295 --> 00:17:42,958
Oh, good, come on in.
I thought it was Britta.
359
00:17:43,165 --> 00:17:44,530
Well...
360
00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:49,466
Britta, I actually wanna be taken
more seriously.
361
00:17:49,972 --> 00:17:52,600
And the only reason I slammed
Jeff's head against the table
362
00:17:52,808 --> 00:17:55,242
was because I wanted to feel
like an adult.
363
00:17:56,845 --> 00:17:58,107
Like Shirley.
364
00:17:59,415 --> 00:18:01,883
And I wanted to feel younger
like Annie.
365
00:18:02,084 --> 00:18:04,712
It's not that I'm really old because people
don't know how young I really am. See?
366
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,480
I'm doing it again.
I hate that I obsess about my age.
367
00:18:07,690 --> 00:18:09,055
Oh, I know.
368
00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,252
I wish I was really magic. Heh.
369
00:18:12,061 --> 00:18:14,689
You know you're not?
Yeah.
370
00:18:14,897 --> 00:18:17,457
Hah. Somebody must have sent
these robes by accident.
371
00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:20,635
I only pretended I was level six
to impress you guys.
372
00:18:21,203 --> 00:18:22,397
I got held back.
373
00:18:24,740 --> 00:18:27,265
I don't even deserve
this Buddhist meteor wand.
374
00:18:27,576 --> 00:18:28,736
Oh.
375
00:18:30,112 --> 00:18:32,205
It's not a meteor. It's a cookie wand.
376
00:18:33,983 --> 00:18:35,473
Me and Jeff made it
377
00:18:35,684 --> 00:18:38,278
because it made you look
like the Cookie Crisp wizard.
378
00:18:38,487 --> 00:18:42,116
Which is not even a reference I get
because the Cookie Crisp mascot
379
00:18:42,324 --> 00:18:45,054
wasn't a wizard when I was a kid,
it was a burglar.
380
00:18:47,029 --> 00:18:51,432
I just pretended like I knew because
I wanted Jeff to think I was smart.
381
00:18:54,069 --> 00:18:56,037
Great. I did it again.
382
00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:57,603
I killed the buzz.
383
00:19:01,977 --> 00:19:03,444
Look, um...
384
00:19:04,046 --> 00:19:05,638
Maybe...
385
00:19:05,848 --> 00:19:08,248
Maybe "buzz kill"
is a bad choice of words.
386
00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:10,816
What's a good choice of words?
387
00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:14,217
I don't know. l... I, um... I...
388
00:19:14,423 --> 00:19:17,722
You're... You're like the dark cloud
that unites us.
389
00:19:18,661 --> 00:19:21,129
Or the... The anti-Winger.
390
00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:25,129
You're like... You're...
You're the heart of this group.
391
00:19:26,101 --> 00:19:29,730
Uh... Look, um, I don't have a real
handle on all this mushy stuff.
392
00:19:29,938 --> 00:19:34,637
If... If I did,
then we wouldn't need you.
393
00:19:35,778 --> 00:19:38,645
Britta, get over here.
394
00:19:39,048 --> 00:19:40,538
Really?
Yeah.
395
00:19:44,386 --> 00:19:47,378
Let's never let Jeff divide us again.
396
00:19:47,990 --> 00:19:49,548
Hey, Abed.
397
00:19:50,092 --> 00:19:52,083
Why are you and I the only sane...?
Shh.
398
00:19:52,294 --> 00:19:54,922
Just watch. It's beautiful.
399
00:19:55,130 --> 00:19:58,327
Troy, do you want a bite of my wand?
I do.
400
00:20:00,849 --> 00:20:02,214
We really appreciate
you doing this.
401
00:20:02,417 --> 00:20:04,544
Sure.
And three, two, one.
402
00:20:04,753 --> 00:20:06,618
â™ھ Troy and Abed in the morning â™ھâ™ھ
403
00:20:06,822 --> 00:20:09,120
And we're back.
Look who's here, Jeff Winger.
404
00:20:09,324 --> 00:20:10,985
Jeff, how do you stay so fit?
405
00:20:11,426 --> 00:20:13,519
Uh... Diet, exercise, genetics.
406
00:20:15,264 --> 00:20:17,164
Sure, sure.
Okay. So it seems we have a clip.
407
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:18,856
You wanna set up for us?
408
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:21,331
Uh, I'd like to but I don't know
what you're talking about.
409
00:20:21,537 --> 00:20:23,300
Okay, we'll just roll it.
410
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,602
Ooh. My name's Jeff Winger.
411
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,365
Hey. I'm Jeff Winger. I'm so tall.
412
00:20:27,576 --> 00:20:29,441
This watch is expensive.
Muscles are everywhere.
413
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:30,873
That was funny.
414
00:20:31,079 --> 00:20:32,637
What's going on?
Where are the cameras?
415
00:20:32,848 --> 00:20:34,839
We're not filming this.
No. Who'd wanna watch this?
416
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:37,848
Guys, it's 6 a.m. Jeez.
417
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:41,812
We're not gonna have him back.
418
00:20:42,257 --> 00:20:43,656
â™ھ Troy and Abed in the morn... â™ھâ™ھ
419
00:20:43,859 --> 00:20:44,848
No!
420
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:52,000
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